An Arizona Cheesehead's Thoughts

I was at my parents' last night for dinner. My Mom said several times, "When does the game start?" She meant the Suns game and we mocked her for thinking it was on last night and not tonight. So, of course, the gods punished me for being mean to my Mom and made me forget all about the game tonight. Good thing they don't need me to watch to win.

I finally hosted Chick Poker on Friday night after begging off the last time since my place was nearly declared a disaster area by the Feds. Since my last foray into decorating, the place actually looks quite inviting so I was happy to have folks over. Stacey had asked if she could bring her two year old monster (her word, not mine), Devon, and I said yes for a couple of reasons. We've played before at her house and he was relatively content with a DVD and the TV as a babysitter. I have a good collection of Disney films and lots of toys and stuffed animals to play with and nothing of any value whatsoever except my laptop and that's purely an emotional attachment to me ( love my laptop, cannot be away from it for more than 20 minutes at a time, must check email, must check blog comments...it's sick, I admit). We've also had him at Angela's before, and while he got a little fussy, he eventually fell asleep and all was well. It wasn't so much all well on Friday, t...

You know what goes through the washer and dryer cycle really well? $45 in tens and fives that you left in your pocket. They come out nice and crispy clean. You know what doesn't go through the washer and dryer cycle really well? The envelope that the $45 in tens and fives was in while it was in your pocket. It comes out in little bits and pieces that stick to the rest of your clothes and show up several loads down the road. Thought you might like to know for future reference.

Had to balance out my TomKat ratio so I watched the Spielberg/Cruise version of War of the Worlds . In one word: eh. In more than one word: too long, too hokey, too screamy and too stupid kid actions. My advice: don't bother.

I had some time this weekend to catch some flicks on HBO, one of which was Batman Begins. Pretty good flick but not perfect. Bale was a good Bruce Wayne and Michael Caine made a great Alfred. Liked the intro to the Scarecrow. That guy was creepy. Didn't recognize Gary Oldman at all. I knew it was someone I should have known but he was way too nerded out at as Jim Gordon for me to figure it out. Katie Holmes was OK but was what up with Liam Neeson's mustache? Dude! That was just plain bad. I know Batman's supposed to be all dark and moody but man, I just wanted to tell the guy to get over his childhood drama already and move on. Worth watching though a tad long.

X-cellent! X-traordinary! X-citing! Ok, those were the only X words I could come up with. I know it was a kinda cheesy exercise. Sugar Daddy, Steven and I took in the latest installment of the X-Men series and it was frakking awesome! There were lots of shocking moments. I'm not sure how many time Steven and I turned to each other and made 'surprised' faces. I was a little worried that Kelsey Grammer as The Beast wasn't going to be a good choice. It's hard to not think of him as anyone but Fraser. However, it worked out and I thought he was great. Hugh Jackman showed once again how perfect he is as Wolverine. If it were possible, I even more want to do Wolverine now. Hubba hubba. Halle Berry's Storm finally does something besides turn her eyes white and make fog. She was actually pretty tough in the movie. There was a surprisingly high fatality count with a few very emotional deaths. The fight scenes were really well done and the mutant special effects were bof...

I know this post seems late since the All Star event was last Saturday but I didn't actually get to see all of it until last night. Let me just get this out of the way: Jimmie's a stud! Anywhoo, I've learned to always add at least an hour to any recording I make of a racing event because I've gotten burned when there are a lot of cautions and the race runs long. A couple of years ago, my recording ended with 2 laps to go. That hurt. So, I set up the DVR for Saturday with an extra hour thinking I was good. Turned out to be not the case and I had to track down a rebroadcast to record to see the end. See, there's this phenomenon called 'weather' that we just don't seem to have here in Phoenix. You could put down a forecast of "Clear and Sunny" for every day of the year and be right 360 times out of 365. However, in North Carolina they have this thing called 'rain'. It ended up holding up the action for quite a while. My recording ended bef...

It's just not a good idea to drive home during the last 4 minutes of a Suns game. You're clearly a menace on the road while you're trying to follow the action on radio. Then, you end up sitting in your car while the game runs down trying to evaluate if you can make it from the car to the door, open three locks, turn on the tv and the cable and get it to the right station in a 20 second timeout. FYI, you'll end up .3 seconds short on that.

We celebrated the May I.T. birthdays today at work. It used to be all about me since I was the only May baby but our new guy, who just started on Monday, was born on Cinco de Mayo so we're now sharing the festivities. I'm OK with that since I still got presents (including another tiara - a Princess can never have enough!). Sugar Daddy got put in charge of the game for the day. He picked a game with a really bad name that conjures all sorts of nastiness. Chubby Bunnies. I mean, come one, that's just bad. Is it something like Choking the Chicken? Or related to Chubby Chasers? I didn't know and, when I found out what it was, I was actually grossed out. The goal of the game is to stuff your mouth with marshmallows (no swallowing) while retaining the ability to clearly say the words, "Chubby Bunnies". Whomever can do it with the highest marshmallow count wins. Need I say that none of the women in the department took part? A bunch of the guys lined up around a table...

The latest in the Women's Murder Club series by James Patterson and Maxine Paetro, 5th Horseman, revolves around a series of mysterious deaths in a local hospital, the trial of said hospital for mass malpractice and the serial killings of beautiful young women found posed and dressed in designer clothes. Patterson and Paetro aren't afraid to bump people off. The main characters and the people close to them are fair game so you never feel 100% comfortable that the heroes are going to survive. That makes for good reading. All in all, a worthy addition to the series.

Beach Road is the latest collaboration between James Patterson and Peter de Jonge. They wrote Miracle on the 17th Green years ago and one of my prized possessions is a copy of the book, autographed by Patterson when I met him in my bookselling days. Really nice guy. Good book (I mean Beach Road though I really like the other one, too) - the plot line involves the execution style murders of three White townies in the Hamptons which is blamed on a young Black basketball phenom. The chapters are told from the viewpoints of several of the main characters including the failed basketball player/small town lawyer who defends the kid, the kid himself, a NYC detective, a ruthless drug dealer and the former townie girl now big time lawyer who comes back to work on the case. The style is typical Patterson; very short chapters, red herrings and plot twists abounding but compelling reading. I read most of it in one sitting and finished it in an afternoon.

It's been rather toasty lately here in The Valley of the Sun. And when I say pretty toasty, I mean hot as hell. It's the kind of weather where you run from your air conditioned house to your air conditioned car to your air conditioned office as fast as possible in the fear that you will turn into a pile of smoking ashes if you're exposed to direct sunlight for more than a cumulative 30 seconds per day. And, it's not even really summer yet. The problem for me isn't necessarily the unrelenting heat. I just wear fewer and skimpier clothes to combat that. It's that I have to keep the house locked up in a vacuum seal to keep the ever so precious cool air inside. That makes for a stuffy house. Not gym sock smelly, more like old attic dusty. So, whenever we get a little cool spell, I like to open up the doors (with safety locks on, of course, so the axe murderers just don't waltz right in) and air the joint out. Yesterday, we had a break in the temperature. I think...

Because, yeah, the fish thing. Didn't work out too well . Your Ideal Pet is a Fish You're both laid back, quiet, and content with your own little worlds. Just don't stare at that fishbowl for too long! What's Your Ideal Pet?

The thing is, I share the same birthday with Machiavelli (not the year, wiseacres) so I really can't help that I'm so much like him. Is anyone buying that? You Are Machiavelli's Spawn You're going to get what you want, and no one's going stand in your way. (Even if it's just knocking out your roomie to get the last ice cream sandwich!) People who slow you down, simply need to be taken out - by any means possible. You are the master of charming, wooing, manipulating, and intimidating. How Machiavellian Are You? Got this from Wastnawa who's on a quiz binge. You can see his results here .

Give it up for the crazy First Lady! At the beginning of the day, she was a boozy, drugged up nutjob. At the end, she managed to get her scummy, treasonous husband to spill the beans on his whole crazy plan and she saved my Aaron from certain death. Unfortunately for her, she did have to have sex with Charles ( trying to not vomit at the thought) but, according to the timeline and no surprise to me, it only appeared to last about 3 minutes. I predict she will have Aaron between the sheets in no time. After she douses her entire body in Lysol to get the Charles stink off of her, of course. I think there will be some other hookups. Buchanan and Karen (he's hot for an old guy), Chloe and her sexy in a Eurotrash way ex-husband (who knew?) and Jack and Horse Face...I mean Audrey. (BTW, you'd think someone would have told her it's not appropriate for the office to wear a black bra under a sheer white blouse.) Oh wait, this being 24, Jack isn't allowed to be happy. I knew wh...

Steven went to Game 7 of the Suns/Clippers series last night. He called me to tell me about it yesterday afternoon and I told him it was very cool. He said I was the only one who felt that way. The other people he'd told (and I'm sure he told quite a few) were a little bit...shall we say, envious and bitter? He got called several names that I'm not willing to put on the old blog. He seemed genuinely a little disappointed that they weren't happy for him but, deep down inside, he probably enjoyed lording it over them a bit.

I am often so very, very proud of the contributions The Arizona Parrot Head Club makes to our community. Saturday was a prime example of us doing some good and feeling really good about it. We rented out a small theater and hosted 13 kids and 4 staff from a local Crisis Center. We bought each kid a snack pack of a small soda, popcorn and a small bag of candy. Kids being kids, they all wanted something different (Icee, big popcorn, etc.) but in the end they were satisfied with their snack. We also bought drinks and popcorn for the staff. They need treats, too! In addition to the kids, we had 29 folks from the club in attendance: parents, 'keets (that's what we call members' kids) and grand-keets. We got a little held up at the snack bar so the kids, staff, Steve (who coordinated the event) and I got into the theater just as the movie was starting. The gang had left the first three rows open for the kids and I sat in the very front with about 6 of them. Yes, my neck is still ...

You Have a Choleric Temperament You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things. Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life. You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation. You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon. Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall. You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others. At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults. Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion. A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior. What Temperment Are You? Found this at Vern's .

A couple of girlfriends and I get together every few months to touch base. We used to go to Rio Salado Brewing Company (God rest its soul) but now hang out at Sportsmen's. We finally got together last night after an utterly ridiculous stretch of rescheduling. We actually cancelled 6 times before we finally met. Each of us had to nix it two times for work, sickness and HOOT (that last incident was me). It just shouldn't be this hard to spend times with your friends. The good thing is that we had plenty to talk about. I love that we all seem to give each the other the same amount of time to tell our stories. There are no conversation hogs there, nor are there any non-talkers. We got completely caught up (they didn't even know about Steven's ankle, that's how long it's been). They're both married so they don't have the single escapades that I do (man, I wish I had more to tell them) but they have plenty else going on in their lives. I found out that one of...

The plan was set. Grandpa was coming over between 5:30 and 6 for dinner and to hang my pictures (really, that's not a euphemism for some under the sheets activity). He'd told me that he saw a half circle table at Fry's that would be perfect for my phone table. I looked at two Fry's but didn't find it and then used my subtle behavioral control to get him to pick one up at the Fry's Marketplace near my house on the way over. I am good. He got here just as I was putting the finishing touches on the chicken enchilada casserole. I popped it in the oven and started on the rice. He asked how long until dinner and I said about 10 minutes since the chicken was precooked and just needed to get heated. So, he decided that he'd put together the table while I was doing my little woman in the kitchen routine. Yeah, so it took more than 10 minutes to assemble. A lot more. First, he had to go out to the car to get his reading glasses. Actually, that was second. First, he ha...