Getting Used To...

...but not over it.

It's been three months since I lost George. There hasn't been a day I haven't thought about her nor a week that I haven't cried at least once. Usually, it's more than once.  I'll see or hear something and the pain of her loss all comes back to me. I can't even count how many times I've relived her last breaths.

The reminders have been even stronger this past week as one of my friends had to say good-bye to her cat and three others lost their dogs. It just plain sucks.

My cat friend wrote an eloquent post about people thinking/saying "it's just a cat" that explained just how much her cat meant to her. Yes, that made me cry.

I was lucky enough that no one ever said that to me but I thought about it. I felt like there were people out there who were judging me. People who were thinking, "it's not like you lost a human, quit being such a drama queen".

I've lost humans, too. It sucked, too. And, I still get teary eyed when confronted with a strong reminder of the people who are gone. But, that doesn't make this pain seem any less.

When I made my wall calendar for 2014, I thought it would be perfect to feature my baby during my birthday month. Fortunately, I was gone for a chunk of the month because just glancing at the calendar has had me tearing up at times. However, it's also helped a little to desensitize me to her picture.

My baby through the years
I'm looking forward to getting my new kittehs. I'm sure I will love them to pieces.

I'm also sure that I'll continue to grieve for a long time over George and that the hole she left in my heart will never be completely filled.


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