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Showing posts from June, 2006

Doesn't 50% Weird Make Me Average?

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You Are 50% Weird
Normal enough to know that you're weird...
But too damn weird to do anything about it!How Weird Are You?

Got this from El Capitan like two minutes after he posted it.

It's a very, very, very slow workday...

For The Acronym Challenged

A while back, I sent out directions to somewhere and The Goat dutifully copied them down. Including, he thought the name of the place: BTW. I explained to him that it meant By The Way. Previously, I had to explain that LOL stood for Laughing Out Loud.

This morning, I read an email from Wood-Eye. I had posted LMAO on his blog which he interpreted as Loud Mouth Ass Hole. I told him, nope, it's Laughing My Ass Off and it was meant as a compliment. I wonder what he would have thought it meant if I'd put ROTFLMAO?

So, as a public service for those folks who don't text message, do a lot of blog commenting or emailing, here's a list of acronyms and their meanings.

Some of my often used favorites are WTF, STFU, SOL and BFD. But, I am a potty mouth so what do you expect?

TTFN!

You Be The Judge...

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I just got done watching last night's Celebrity Poker. I was distracted the whole time Macy Gray was on screen because of this question:



Heat Miser and Macy Gray: Separated at birth?

Key West Plans

I'm heading to Key West this fall for the annual Parrot Head Convention, Meeting of the Minds. My condo is booked so it was time to get my airfare. I found a pretty good fare into Ft. Lauderdale and then I checked car rentals and that's when it started to add up.

Just for fun, I checked for a flight into Key West and, OMG, that is dang pricey. I've never paid $500 for a plane ticket before (clearly, I've never been overseas) and I didn't want to start now.

However, I decided it actually makes economical sense to fly into KW. The car and airfare to Lauderdale together was about $50 less than going into KW. Add gas to that and it's even money. Plus, I could save some traveling time and spend more time at Hogsbreath on my day in.

The thing is, in years past there were always a few of us flying together. We'd go into Lauderdale, rent a car and take a leisurely drive down to KW. Not as leisurely as Cheap Bastard and Annette who took 11 hours to make the drive but w…

Parrots in the Pines - Photos

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One, one two, one, one two.


Tipsy Tommy adding an extra step.


Elizabeth presenting Wood-Eye with the Vibra-Slap.


Menage a Mark.


Jam Session.


Ladies, and Gentlemen, Mark Mulligan!


Percussion Prodigy.


Wood-Eye showing his Vibra-Slap skills.


Not a Percussion Prodigy.

Book Review - Twelve Sharp

I readily admit my OCD tendencies and one of the stronger ones is that I hate putting a good book down until it's done.

Twelve Sharp is a good book.

I started reading around 10:30 last night and finished up around 1:30 this morning. I did look at the clock several times and contemplated going to sleep but sleep was not nearly as compelling as finishing the book.

Sometimes, series tend to get old and the characters stale. Not so in this series. Stephanie, while still far from the best bounty hunter around, is getting better at her job. There are always new characters who add to the story and the recurring characters have stories of their own so it's not always just about Stephanie, Joe and Ranger.

Hmmmmm, Ranger.

The summary: Ranger becomes a nationally wanted man after it's reported that he kidnapped his daughter from her Mother and Stepfather. Stephanie hides him out and helps him in his quest to clear his name and rescue the girl. Along the way, we have the expected, and ente…

Parrots in the Pines - Saturday

I got up feeling pretty refreshed on Saturday morning. Tipsy Tommy and Julia made us all a big breakfast then Elizabeth made another one. My contribution to the food was some organic watermelon which some people claimed I called orgasmic watermelon with jokes at my expense, of course. Pervs.

The morning was mostly just hanging out and some members from Tucson, Brad and Peggy, spent some time chatting with us. Tipsy Tommy was moving a little slowly, I must admit.

We all headed down to the Landmark for the afternoon show. They'd set up some shade awnings on the side of where the band was and left the front open for dancing. There turned out to be a pretty good crowd. The O'Malley Babes and Roger and Todd came up for the afternoon and we all jumped on the cheeseburger lunch. It was pretty good, though of course not raw enough for me.

I got to catch up a little bit with another member, Dave, from Flagstaff. He and Debbie had ridden their bikes down and Dave had just gotten his repain…

Exhibiting Incredible Willpower

I've spent the whole evening doing housework and Parrot Head official stuff and am now fixing to finish the tale of Parrots in the Pines for y'all. (Suddenly, I sound like I'm from the South.)

And, during this entire time, the latest Stephanie Plum book, Twelve Sharp, has been sitting on my counter tempting me.

Oh, and it looks to be all about Ranger.

Hmmmm, Ranger...

If only I could have that same self control when it comes to dieting!

Parrots in the Pines - Friday

I really wanted to leave work Friday at 1. The plan was to drive home, pack the cooler and be on the road by 1:30 or 1:45 at the latest. Of course, I got stuck with something and couldn't bail until 2:30 and I felt guilty about leaving.

I was now 1 1/2 hours behind my self-imposed schedule and very unhappy. I think I packed everything up in a record 10 minutes to try to catch up. Mapquest said it would take me 1 hour and 51 minutes to get to Christopher Creek and I was determined to get there sooner and afternoon traffic was not going to stand in my way.

Mapquest is a liar. Or, it assumes everyone drives like a NASCAR driver. I went like a bat out of hell with no stops and made it to Greyhackle in 1 hour and 47 minutes. If I'd driven the speed limit, I would have been at least 15 minutes later.

A digression of sorts. What is up with some people? There was a clump of us all going up a pretty steep hill on a two lane highway when this fifth-wheeler decides it needs to pass the car …

Best Rendition of Amy, Ever!

This incident from last year's Parrots in the Pines has not been forgotten.

On Friday night at the Landmark, Ray and Mark talked about how hurt they were by my Blog comments last year and that they had something to prove.

They then played a beautiful version of Amy. Really, it sounded like a chorus of angels.

Well, technically, they played a beautiful first two lines of Amy.

They still haven't learned the rest of the song...

I Hope They Went Shopping This Year

I'm leaving work early tomorrow to head up to Christopher Creek and spend the weekend carousing at this place.

God help them if they haven't stocked up on Miller Lite this year. I will not be amused and there might even be something approaching a hissy fit occurring. OK, not really, because I'm not Confrontation Girl.

I have a 30 pack ready to go with me just in case they prove to be lame as usual. I'll just carry in my own beers and to hell with them.

They better have food, though. My posse was all about cooking and eating together and I was more thinking I'd have a bagel for breakfast, maybe some licorice for a snack then I'd be eating at The Landmark the rest of the time. They're supposed be having beer butt chicken this year (which is awesome) and a steak dinner thing on Saturday. Hopefully, they will know how to cook (or not cook, in reality) my piece of cow.

Regardless of how lame they might be at the restaurant, it will be great to see my friend, Mark Mu…

I Needed That

I have just been dragging my ass all week. Lots to do at work, lots to do at home and trying to get ready for the upcoming weekend up North. Today was especially fatiguing.

I gave blood right before lunch and was looking forward to my next hearty meal after waiting nearly an hour before donating and getting a bruise for my trouble. Alas, it was not to be so.

When I got back to my office, I came upon a crisis. I really need to learn how to pretend I don't hear anything and just walk on by but, somehow, I can't. I ended up at my desk with my boss and another person looking over my shoulder while we were all on the speaker phone with one of our users.

My blood sugar must have been negative because I literally could not come up with the right column and table names to write my queries. It was scary. Fortunately, I'd brought my lunch and my boss got it for me so I could eat while I worked. (That sorta makes her seem like a slave driver - 'Hey, I know you're faint but solve…

Nothing Like a Good Cuban

I'm talking sandwich, not cigar here. Though the cigars are pretty good, too.

My boss and I went to lunch yesterday at The Havana Cafe. I ordered the Cuban sandwich with fries. If I see a Cuban anywhere on a menu, I have to try it. I love the whole combo of flavors and textures. I still dream about the best one I ever had...in Miami, FL where I think the only citizens are actually Cuban ones.

Anyway, I digress. This was a really good sandwich. The bread was done up right, the olives were tasty but not overwhelming. Good stuff, Maynard. I'd definitely order it again.

But, the highlight was the fries. I'm very picky about my fries. Soggy, thick or undercooked make me want to wretch. Blech. I don't like them thick or have a strong potato texture in the middle. And none of the lightly fried, white color. They better be somewhere between golden and bordering on brown.

Basically, I like thin sticks of crispy fat held together by a small amount of potato. I will dig out all of th…

Doh!

The ladies can relate to this one...(maybe some guys, too, not that there's anything wrong with it).

When I got into work this morning, I pulled out my compacy to put lipstick on.

And found that, other than foundation, I had no makeup on. No eyeliner, shadow, mascara, blush...

I'm trying to figure out how I got interrupted in my morning routine but have no idea.

Too bad I'm not angling for a fake sick day this week. After seeing the paleness that is me, no one would doubt that I'm under the weather.

A Good Day for Dad

I'd called Shorty up and asked him what he wanted to do for Father's Day. His response:

"I know what I want to do but you're going to say no."

For full effect, imagine that said in pathetic, total guilt inducing voice.

I knew where he was headed and I let him go there.

"I want to come over to your house and have you make dinner."

I swear, my house is Disneyland to my Dad's inner six year old. I honestly don't see the attraction but I couldn't say no on his special day.

So, my parents and Steven came over around 5ish. We had some cocktails and Steven and I regaled them with poker tales from the weekend. Then, Steven and I made a Chicken Piccata Pasta Toss from one of my Rachael Ray's 30 minutes cookbooks which we served up with some of Shorty's homemade rolls. Good stuff.

BTW, I have to say, 30 minutes, my arse! Even if you had everything all cut up and ready to go, it would be at least 45.

After dinner, we played some more poker. My Mom'…

Now This Was Poker

We had a club Texas Hold 'Em game last night - the Mom O'Malley Memorial Tournament was held in honor of Mom and to raise money for Hospice of the Valley. 36 players participated and we raised $750. That was awesome!

What was also awesome was that I got to play with people who actually knew the game. We were randomly assigned to tables and I ended up with a bunch of guys (I was the only girl at our table which is the way I like it - less competition on the flirting) who could play. Well, except for the Goat who was either playing dumb or, well, was dumb. I think it was somewhere in between as he played some hands really well.

Not so awesome was the way Steven played me. He called me in the afternoon to say he was house-sitting and had to go let some dogs out before he came over. He asked if I would register him and I said yes. You could imagine how that worked out. I forked out his registration fee, he showed up at the very last minute and I will never get paid back. Especially …

I Think I'll Buy a Zebra

El Capitan wrote about his upcoming influx of vast wealth here.

I won't say that I begrudge him his incoming fortune. He seems like a nice guy. Loves his family and kitties and could definitely use a break from working for The Man.

However, I did have twinge of self pity. Why can't I just stumble into big money? I mean, I'm basically a good person. I follow all of the rules, do charity work, I'm nice to small children (as long as they're not shrieking), I love kitties and puppies. I was kinda wishing I'd built enough Karma to get some easy money.

Well, it appears I have!

I got this guaranteed offer of millions from Dr. Bob William today. Since he's a Doctor, I know it's legit. Here's the scoop:

Attention my dear friend:

I am Dr. Bob William, A legal consultant in Dubai United Arab Emirates. I have a client, who is Mr. Jerry Richard the Director for Roads and transportation in his country Zimbabwe, presently residing in Dubai. On behalf of my client Mr. Je…

Serenity, Now!!!

I just got home from a girls only, $5 buy-in No Limit Texas Hold 'Em evening.

Oh.

My.

God.

It's a wonder I didn't kill anyone.

They are a bunch of ADD, yapping, chaotic acting, poker neophytes. You know, I can live with the folks who are asking about the size of the bet. I can live with the people who ask if the action is on them. I can even live with the people who go in on iffy hands.

I don't think I can live with this group.

It was a constant struggle to get them to play in turn, to realize that it was indeed their turn and to get them to not comment on the hand when they were out of it. Oh, and I can't even count how many times the entire game stopped, for many minutes, because they were yacking about something.

I kept reminding myself that it was only $5. Cassie kept telling me to have some more wine. Neither of those tips helped much.

The killer was when I got pocket 9s and made big bets before the flop, after the flop and went all in after the turn with a straight an…

Exceptionally Flexible

We're undergoing our annual health tests at work. You get a lower rate on your health insurance if you participate but the incentive for me is to get some free tests done. When you come from a family with diabetes and high blood pressure, it's good to keep an eye on some of those indicators.

They test cholesterol, triglyceride, glucose, blood pressure, pulse rate and body fat percentage.

I am one of those people whose results,for the most part, do not in any match their appearance. My cholesterol (total, good and bad) is awesome. Did you know that drinking beer raises your good cholesterol? Now, I'm not a Doctor, nor have I played one on TV, but that's a pretty good medical tip there, if you ask me. I also have low blood pressure which is surprising since I am Shorty's child and a Type A freak. My Mom's got diabetes but my glucose is really low.

The body fat percentage is the only one that matches up. I like to use that old saw, "I'm in shape and that sha…

Just Great, Something New to Worry About

I read this in the paper this morning.

Of course, I immediately checked all of the mosquito bites from last week to see if they're especially inflamed. Don't seem to be but one has a nasty scab. Damn that incessant itching.

I don't even know what anaphylaxis is but it sounds really, really bad. Hopefully, the fear of getting it will stop me from scratching next time I get a bug bite. Of course it sounds like I'd need to be in Latin America or near a pack rat's nest to seriously need to worry about it all but that won't stop me. From worrying, or scratching, unfortunately.

More Cooking Adventures

So, I got this red chard in my organic delivery and I had no idea what to do with it. It's not even listed in four of the many cookbooks on my shelf so I gave up and decided to use the recipe that they'd conveniently given me. It was pork chops and a chard/cranberry sauce.

Man, what a lot of work. There was lots of simmer this, transfer that, bake those, boil that and add this while reducing... Lots of ingredients, too. Chard, garlic, scallions, wine, fresh thyme, cranberries, olive oil, chicken broth, butter, pork chops, sugar, salt and pepper. I think that's it but it's all a blur now.

I got totally confused by what to do with the chard. The ingredient list said " 1 lb chard, stems & center ribs removed, leaves coarsely chopped". That implies to me that I should then discard the stems and center ribs. However, in the cooking directions it said, "Add chard stems & center ribs cook." No where did it say anything about the leaves.

What to do.

I c…

My Son, The Drama Queen

Steven wanted to come over and use my laptop to look for a house to rent. He and two of his buddies (and several dogs) are all looking to get a place together...and they need it by the end of June. At least he's not waiting for the very last minute.

I made him a deal. He could use my laptop if he helped me with a project. The Arizona Parrot Heads have been collecting items for the troops overseas. The guy who's been doing the packing and mailing went on vacation so I said I'd collect the items and mail them while he was gone. What a sucker I am. I had bags and bags of stuff to pack. It was a bit overwhelming, to be honest, but I got started on it and Steven agreed to help me in return for the laptop use.

Oy vey. He's so frakking dramatic! He put three items in a box, leaving plenty of open space, and then threw a fit when I suggested he could get more in. At one point, he got so frustrated trying to fit items in that he threw a pen on the floor. Then there were the sever…

Enough With The Quizzes - Where's Some Content?

What can I say? I'm keeping you all interested by posting quizzes which means little work on my part. Hey, at least I get lots of comments when I do that.

I just don't have anything of interest to report (some would say I seldom do but that never stops me from blathering on and on).

Work is fine. No one in the Pfister family has been in the hospital for months. I haven't done anything stupid lately. I'm staying home and eating all my veggies like a good girl. Haven't even watched any movies or finished a book of late.

Jeesh. What a bore.

I'll try to do something really, really interesting tomorrow. Promise.

Apparently, I Just Don't Use This Power Very Often

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Your Seduction Style: The Charmer




You're a master at intimate conversation and verbal enticement.

You seduce with words, by getting people to open up to you.

By establishing this deep connection quickly, people feel under your power.

And then you've got them exactly where you want them!

What Is Your Seduction Style?

At Least I Wasn't Cyclops or Storm...

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You Are Jean Grey
Although your fate is often unknown, you always seem to survive (even after death).
Your mind is your greatest weapon, literally!

Powers: telepathy and telekinesis, the ability to project thoughts into the mind of others, communication with animalsWhich of the X-Men Are You?

Like There Was Any Other Possible Answer

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You Are Miss Piggy
A total princess and diva, you're totally in charge - even if people don't know it.
You want to be loved, adored, and worshiped. And you won't settle for anything less.
You're going to be a total star, and you won't let any of the "little people" get in your way.
Just remember, piggy, never eat more than you can lift!The Muppet Personality Test

Y'all Will Have Comments On This, No Doubt

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I just want to go on record by saying that if Martinis were the only alcoholic drink available, I would become a teatotaller.

You Are a Martini
There's no other way to say it: you're a total lush.
You hold your liquor well, and you hold a lot of it!What Mixed Drink Are You?

Yay/Boo

Yay! Deadwood is back. This show is so awesome. There were so many great moments in the season premier. Spoiler Alert: Joannie with the gun to her head, Bullock beating the crap out of EB, EB doing his Shakespearean oration while completely messed up, Trixie's tirade...my favorite moment, however, was when Jane was explaining to Mrs. Bullock how she fines herself for swearing in front of children so she can't talk at the school because she needs all of her money for drinking. Classic.

Boo! This is the last season of Deadwood.

I Thought It Would Be a Higher Score...

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You Are 32% Cynical
Generally you give people the benefit of the doubt. But there are exceptions.
You buy into many of the things that mainstream society believes, but you're not anybody's fool.How Cynical Are You?

Got this from El Capitan who thankfully provided me with some needed blogging content...

Coincidence? I Think Maybe Not...

Steven called me last night to play a guessing game.

The question was "Who came into Jamba Juice and told him to say hi to me?"

I never play well because my first response is "Who?" then he scolds me for not taking a guess. After saying "Who?", I made a couple of guesses but he had to give me hints.

He drives your favorite car.

You think he's cute.

Do you have it yet? I got it at that point...it was the Cute Doctor.

He was in scrubs so probably had just left the hospital. He knows Steven works at a Jamba but acted surprised to see him. I say "acted surprised" because I'm not so sure. I'm thinking maybe he was setting the stage for our next (and final) appointment. Making it a little more of a friendly relationship if you get what I mean.

Or, I'm just a crazy woman reading waaaaaaay too much into it.

Movie Review - Robots

Some wild hair made me record Robots over the weekend. I really didn't remember much from it being out in the theaters which usually means it wasn't all that good.

And, it wasn't. Wasn't horrible, either.

Nice visuals including an awesome falling domino scene and a mousetrap game type trip across town but the characters weren't all that interesting. And the story was probably sketched out on a cocktail napkin. Poor, boy robot goes to big city to make his mark as an inventor, saves everyone from evil money-grubbing corporate head. Make that a half of a cocktail napkin.

Based on the voice cast, I expected a lot more. Ewan McGregor had the lead and played it without his accent so it didn't even really sound like him. Robin Williams was Robin Williams playing Genie. Greg Kinnear, Jim Broadbent and Paul Giamatti were the bright spots and actually put some energy into their work. Halle Barry, Amanda Bynes, Mel Brooks, Stanley Tucci, Drew Carey, Jennifer Coolidge were a…

I Shower Every Day, I Swear!

I've written about how hard it was to schedule drinks with some of my girlfriends. I thought it was a combination of our schedules causing issues but, maybe it's me. I don't think I smell...

My neighbor works nights but has Thursdays off. We talked about getting together last Thursday for some wine - wasn't written in stone but implied. I left a note on her door to come on over but she didn't. I ran into her later in the week at the mailbox and she apologized and said she'd had a friend come in from out of town. No biggie, we rescheduled for last night. I got home to a message on my machine. She'd been called into work on her night off - for the first time ever!

Then, there's this woman at work. We've scheduled lunch countless times. Either she forgets and makes other plans or something comes up and she can't make it. It's been going on for months. At this point, I just find it amusing. And, since she's the one who wants to do lunch to dis…

It's That Time of Year Again...

It's been almost a year since I wrote this.

Mosquito season has started and, though I dodged the West Nile bullet last year, that just means my luck is going to run out at some point. I got completely munched on some time over the weekend. I thought it may have been while I washed my car on Sunday (futile time and money wasting exercise since the wind gods dropped buckets of dust on it this week) since I found the bites on Monday.

Lots of bites. All over both legs and feet. Which just meant that my skirt or shoes rubbed up against various bites throughout the day, activating the itch and I spent a lot of time scratching. I know, I shouldn't scratch. Sugar Daddy yells at me every time but I think we all know by now that I have zero willpower about some things.

Last night, I found even more bites! And the culprits. From the corner of my eye, I saw a little bugger in my bathroom. The bastards have invaded my house! That's what I get for trying to let in some fresh air. No more o…

Organic Produce Delivery - Week 2

3 bananas
1/2 pint strawberries
head of romaine lettuce
English shelling peas
1 cantalope
6 potatoes
1 Tommy mango
2 ears white corn
1 head garlic
red chard (new to me, I guess I'm going to get to know my greens with this program)
1 really big white onion
bunch of yellow carrots
three recipes: chard, peas and carrots

I have one tomato and one grapefruit left over from last week mostly because I stayed at home most nights. If I end up with my usual go-go-go schedule, I'll probably scale these deliveries back to every other week.

WTF?

I stumbled upon the new season of Celebrity Poker Showdown tonight...Phil Gordon is gone and Phil Hellmuth is in.

Ugh.

I love Phil Gordon.

I cannot stand Phil Hellmuth. Sorry, don't care how great a player he is. I can't get past the big, whiny, "I'm the smartest person in the world" attitude.

I'm going to have trouble watching the show this year.

Book Review - The Power of One

This was a book club book. Most of the folks didn't finish it but I read it all in one day. I thought it was awesome!

There's a movie but it is quite different than the book. From the comments made by my friends who experienced both, the book is way better.

The story is about a young boy growing up in South Africa, starting right before WW II. He's a minority in two ways: he's White and he's of English descent, not Dutch who are the White overlords of South Africa. Somehow, he builds an incredible life as he grows to manhood, pursues his dream to become the welter-weight boxing champion of the world and becomes a symbol of inspiration for the suppressed Blacks.

I didn't read the author's (Bryce Courtenay) biography until I was done because I was going to be very disappointed if he hadn't had experience with the times and events of South Africa and Apartheid. He did - turned out he lived there during his formative years.

Absolutely great book - I can't r…

Movie Review - Kicking & Screaming

I'm not a huge Will Ferrell fan. I thought Anchorman: The Legend of RonBurgundy was fairly amusing but not just because of him. The whole cast was great. Elf was mildly amusing but not the greatest.

I decided to watch Kicking & Screaming mostly to see if Ferrell could carry a whole movie on his shoulders. If he can, it wasn't this one. Pretty dumb script with a few funny moments but not a great flick at all.

The gist of it: Ferrell plays the namby-pamby son of Robert Duvall who decides to coach his son's soccer team against his Dad's perennial champions. Very predictable.

Hilarious, however, was Mike Ditka. He was playing Mike Ditka. He cracked me up every time he was on screen.

If you have 95 minutes with nothing else to do, it's worth watching. If you have anything at all of any interest to do, then give it a pass.

Freaking Me Out

We had a fierce dust storm tonight. I got home just as it hit and it was nasty. Shorty called me to find out where I was because, if I'd still been at work, he was going to tell me to stay there.

Clearly, he doesn't thing I'm a grown up.

Anywhoo, the wind has been blowing all evening. My wind charm's been going like crazy (then suddenly stops long enough to make me miss it), the patio door is rattling and I keep hearing things crashing by outside. And by outside, it sounds like it's all going on out on my patio. There's been enough stuff moving to keep my motion detecting light going like a strobe. To top it off, the cats decided to take a run across my roof.

I think it was the cats. I hope it was the cats. It sounded more like full grown axe murderers.

And now, suddenly, it's deadly silent. Just like in the movies when all of a sudden something jumps out and scares the Bejezuz out of you. Scary...where's a roommate when you need one?

I think I'm going t…

Tale of Two Kales

If I had ever considered what my front yard shrubbery would taste like, I think it would be quite similar to raw kale. Blech.

However, take that same raw kale, cook it up with some garlic and bacon and simmer it until soft and it's pretty dang good. Hard to go wrong when bacon and garlic are involved but the kale itself had a nice flavor.

It was also fun watching it turn bright green while it was cooking. Pretty.

I'm Available

Call me, Keanu.

Poker Prep

I've watched two hours of TV poker tonight with more queued up on the DVR.

This Friday is Chick Poker.

Next Friday is more Chick Poker (but with the book club girls, not my regular group).

It's all prep work for the big event. The Parrot Head Club is having a Texas Hold 'Em Tournament (the Mom O'Malley Memorial) on the 17th. Last year, I was out really early in the evening. Then, I had to watch Annette ignore all of my advice and come in second. Oh, that hurt.

My goal this year is to at least finish in the top half of the field. I might cry if I don't.

It's all good, regardless of my outcome, since half of the money will go to Hospice of the Valley.

Choking...can't breathe...being poisoned...

Another fact that won't surprise anyone who knows me...I'm not so good with cleaning the oven. I mean, I only use it like once a month so what's the point?

Well, the point is that I had something overflow in it a few months ago and it's been a 50/50 chance that it will set off the smoke alarm when I use it ever since.

So, I decided to use the Self Clean option tonight. I put in the setting, locked the oven door and headed back to my laptop on the dining room table. All is good, right?

Well, not so much. As as I was sitting here typing, I realized that my eyes were burning and I was coughing. It was like the air had become filled with poisonous chemicals. All coming from my kitchen despite the fact that I had the range fan turned on to high.

WTF? I thought self clean just meant it got super hot and vaporized the gunk in the oven. I didn't realize that it created gas that could be used as a chemical warfare agent.

Of course, once you start the self clean, you're stuck…

Just Doesn't Get Old

I watched Animal House this afternoon for the gazillionth time.

God, I love that movie!

There's so many funny bits and brilliant comic acting. John Belushi stole the movie every time he was onscreen and so often without even saying a word. The world of comedy misses him. I get a kick out of seeing the young Peter Riegert, Kevin Bacon and even Donald Sutherland looked like a baby.

Oh, and the lines that I know by heart!

"Face it, Kent, You threw up on Dean Wormer."

"I'm a zit, get it?"

"Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son."

"Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?"

"It's not gonna be an orgy! It's a toga party. "

"Thank you, sir! May I have another?"

And, my all time favorite:

"Do you mind if we dance with your dates?"

That Didn't Suck

I made an eggplant dish for dinner tonight. It probably goes without saying that I've never cooked eggplant before. Heck, I know people who've never even eaten eggplant before.

I used the recipe that they gave me with the eggplant. Basically, you slice it the long way, through some olive oil on and broil for 10 minutes. Then, you wrap each slice around mozzarella, tomato and fresh basil and broil again until the cheese melts.

I didn't exactly follow the recipe, though. It's funny how I'm such a complete rule follower in so many ways but when it comes to cooking, I'm quite nonchalant about the details. I can't tell you the last time I measured out a teaspoon of anything - it's just pour until I think it's good. Same thing with cups of flour - I just dump it in and stop when it looks good.

What I did against the recipe was that I cut the eggplant thicker than they called for. Which meant I couldn't actually wrap everything up because it was too thick…

Feeling Very Thankful

Last night, the Arizona Parrot Heads served up a spaghetti dinner at a local transitional housing center. Being Parrot Heads, we brought more than enough food. They've got plenty of spaghetti, salad and bread leftovers. We also stocked them up on juice, cereal, snacks and fruit.

The folks (there are 500 there currently) that stay at the center range from infants to people in their 60s (based on whom I saw). There are complete family units, singles and single parent groups. Everyone who stays there has to perform some duties (cleaning, cooking, etc.) in order to stay. There's no free ride.

However, there is a lot of help. They get personal and job counseling, housing assistance and job placement and training. The goal is to get these folks off the streets and into productive jobs and homes. It's the kind of place that you wish didn't have to exist but are darn happy it does.

It's not the most pleasant of facilities, though. It's an old hotel on Van Buren (pretty cr…

Old News But The Message Remains The Same

Carol found this article that was written on the club last year.

I got a little choked up reading the quote from Mom O'Malley. She is very much missed by us all.

Typical or Stereotypical?

The club is going to serve dinner at a transitional housing center tomorrow night. I had told Sugar Daddy earlier in the week that I needed to go to Costco (he has a card, I don't) and get some stuff for the event. This morning, he called and bailed on lunch and the Costco trip so I had to call in my backup Costco member, Tyler.

We got our shopping done, he gave them his card and I paid.

As we were walking out, Tyler said, "Thanks for the 2% rebate."

Apparently, they get 2% of their purchases back on their card every year which ends up covering their membership fee.

So, one of us spent money (some of it donated by others) and will be spending time serving a meal to families who are working their way out of homelessness.

The other of us will get back 2% of the money spent.

Can you guess which one is the Democrat and which one is the Republican?

Contents of First Organic Delivery

It was like Christmas morning! (Well, not really since we open presents on Christmas Eve but you get the imagery, I'm sure.) There was a nicely packaged box on my doorstep when I got up with lots of individual items in it.

Here's what I got:
2 pears
2 beefsteak tomatoes
5 bananas
bag of kale (not sure I've ever had it, to be honest)
1 acorn squash
1 eggplant
1 head of romaine lettuce
1 cucumber
1 red bell pepper
2 pink grapefruit
bunch of carrots (with the greens still on them which made me think of the Easter Bunny - more holiday imagery for you)
1/2 dozen or so green onions

They also gave me recipe cards for the kale, eggplant and squash. The kale one calls for cooking it with bacon. Hmmm, doesn't sound too healthy but it does sound good.

Any Bets On How Long This Will Last?

I'm on a new health kick. After watching half of the weight I lost doing Weight Watchers last year come creeping back on, I decided it was time to seriously do something.

I eat lunch out at work every day and it's hardly ever healthy. I eat dinner out a lot, too, and when I'm home it's usually a Healthy Choice or a piece of barely cooked cow. Hmmmm, cow. All washed down with lots of vino, of course. If I can remember to bring a piece of fruit or some veggies to work for a snack, I eat them but more often that not, I end up getting something out of our candy box. So, pretty much my diet is crap.

I know, I know, there's that whole "exercise" thing that apparently does wonders and that everyone tells me about but let's get real. This Princess don't sweat so that's just plain out. That leaves diet as the controllable option and I've got a plan.

Starting tomorrow, I'm getting a weekly delivery of organic fruits and vegetables right to my front…