I Felt REALLY Secure

With the new rules about proving your cell phone and computers can turn on before boarding a plane, I thought I would share the security process I went through at the Hamburg airport on my way to Newark. It's going to take longer to get through security than it is to fly...OK, not really, but still, it's getting to be a lengthy process.

  • Passport check and questions answered about who packed my bag, etc. before being allowed to check my bag.
  • Passport verified again when checking in at United counter.
  • Regular Germany security. Shoes on, metal detector, computer out of bag.
  • Newly implemented (second time only) additional scan of computer that was carried by security to a side room and swabbed down before returning it.
  • Free to head to gate.
  • Get to gate and go through customs check.
  • Additional security scan. Shoes off, pockets empty, computer out, the wooshy full body scanner. Computer swabbed again. My TSA Pre status meant nothing.
  • Another passport check with further questions about what I may have purchased at the airport (done by the same guy as the first time).
  • Final passport verification when boarding the plane.
Here's the thing. Once I got past the customs check, there was no place for me to go. All of the final security checks were literally within 20-30 feet of each other. I don't know what shenanigans they thought I could pull off in trading identities or who knows what. But, hey I did it and I didn't complain. Because I just wanted to get home.

DNA sampling can't be too far behind.


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