Where I Am A Dope

Here's the deal. I received two smart keys when I bought my bitchen' car. I used one key and tossed the other into a kitchen drawer. 

A couple of years in, the key I was using started losing its mojo. I would have to stand really close to the car to lock or unlock the doors and the same with the trunk. Since I always worry about axe murderers chasing me down, I didn't want to have to spend those extra few seconds of running time fiddling with how close I needed to be to reach the safety of my car and lock myself in. So, I put the "used up" key in the kitchen drawer and started using the fresh one.

That bought me another year or so but then that key started failing. I knew I needed to replace the battery but, dang it, it just seemed like so much work. It could also have meant a trip to the dealership where they would charge me a gazillion dollars. I did nothing except I took to putting my purse (where I store the key) right up to the door so I could unlock it. 

Until that didn't work anymore. 

I knew when I had to start extracting the key and manually unlocking the door that the battery was super low but the car kept starting when I hit the button so I dilly dallied some more.

Until that didn't work anymore.

So, there I was in the early morning (actually mid-morning for you annoying early birds) trying to get to work when the button did nothing. I knew there was supposed to be a hidden spot somewhere to place the manual key to start the car but I couldn't find it. I pulled out the owner's manual only to find that it wasn't the right one for my model and year so the picture and described location of where to put the key wasn't accurate.

In the meantime, it was a billion degrees out and I was starting to sweat. Literally. My bangs were ruined for the day.

I went back in to the house to get the other key and prayed it had enough juice in it to start the car. Thankfully, it did.

I made it in to work and asked one of my colleagues at the Help Desk for access to a tiny screwdriver to see if I could somehow break in to the battery compartment to see what battery was needed. Because, my wrong owner's manual didn't have that information, either. He and I tried but gave up for fear of completely breaking it.

That's when I thought to do what I should have from the beginning. Go to the all powerful google.

I found this video and it made it all seem so clear. It even showed me what type of battery to get. So, on my way home from work, I went to Walgreen's and bought the batteries and thought it would all be a piece of cake.

I was wrong. I discovered I lacked the digital strength to open the compartment with just a dime. I tried a quarter thinking I could get more leverage. It was too big. I then tried a table knife. Still not right so I went back to the dime and managed to get just one of the keys to open. The other was beyond me. I put the new battery in then put the other key and battery in the cupboard to wait for Steven to come over and manhandle it.

The next morning, I headed out to the car and tried to unlock it. No go. At this point, I started freaking out a little bit and wondered if it was the car's locking system that might be the problem. Who knows how much that would cost to fix?

But, I calmed down, opened the door manually then tried to start the car, hoping for some spark. Failure. At this point, I went back inside of the house and rewatched the video.

Here's what I learned.

It really helps if you put the battery in with the correct side facing up.


After more forceful and painful pressure, I was able to open the key, flip over the battery and snap it all back together. Amazing how that actually made it all start working again.

I still don't have the other key's battery replaced which will probably kick me in the ass at some point.

And, I still don't know where the key goes for the manual start which will also kick me in the ass.

But, it's all working now so I can live in denial that the situation will ever change.


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