Running On Empty

So much for my goal of blog posting an average of once a day. February killed me and March isn't being much kinder.

My Dad is always asking me, "How do you do it?" By "it", he means work, play, club stuff and travel for  all three of the previous items. I usually say it's just what I do and he thinks it's exhausting. Usually, I don't agree with him but I'm beginning to see his point of view.

My internal battery has been running low and it actually ran out of juice yesterday. Despite going to bed early on both Saturday and Sunday nights, I was wiped when I got up yesterday morning. I took a sick day and a four hour nap and I was still pretty tired last night but I survived the work day and actually feel OK though I suspect I'll retire early tonight. It wasn't all from lack of sleep, it was also a case of nearly overwhelming stress.

Stress from what? Well, I have a list.

  1. We're in month 802 of the project that won't end at work. OK, 802 is an exaggeration but my co-workers would agree that it does feel that long. It feels like we've been near to the end for a while but there's actually a lot of work to be done still and tempers are frayed.
  2. Besides the big project, we had major system issues at work that went on for a solid two weeks. While I didn't have to burn the midnight oil through all of that, I did do some late nights and early mornings. And, there was the joy of being the face behind the emails telling the company the bad news that we had to take the systems down. Again and again.
  3. For some reason, I (and the club BOD) thought it was a good idea to schedule a slew of activities for Q1 and I feel compelled to attend every single one since I'm the President. So, I have. And, I'm feeling guilty about one that I won't be at but I have a bigger obligation.
  4. Weekends are wonderful recharging opportunities for me. I love to wake up, reach for a book and read for a few hours then take a nap before officially getting out of bed. However, I've had only 4 weekend days since the New Year where I haven't had anything scheduled. And, none of those were in a row. I think I did nap on all of those days, though.
  5. Of course, me being me, I ended up booking 3 or 4 weeknights every week with activities, too. Why do I do that to myself? Because, I want to see my friends, go to book club and play poker (though I took one poker night off which was so shocking that I got a WTF call wondering why I wasn't coming).
So, some stuff went by the wayside. I managed to keep up on dishes, recycling and laundry and bathe daily. But, I'm not styling my hair more often than not and I haven't painted my toenails in over a month (something I always do). My book reading volume is way down. There are huge weeds in my back yard and my cat is often angry at me for leaving her alone. She should be happy I'm still feeding her and replacing her water. Her litter box, though... 

As to online stuff, I haven't been on Google+ at all, very little on Twitter and I don't even post as prolifically on Facebook as I used to (something that some people might actually be enjoying). And, as I mentioned, blogging (and reading blogs) has dramatically decreased. It's not that I don't have great stuff to write about, I just can't find the energy to put it all together for posting.

Yes, I know I'm whining and there are certainly things I could do to make it better. Learning to say "no" would be a big start. Some would say getting another job would be wise. 

Cutting back on travel might be something people would advise but that's not going to happen. I have four trips in the next three months on the books. It sometimes feel like those trips are the only bright spots I have to look forward to.

The reality is that I won't make any changes and will keep soldiering on with the hopes that I can somehow grab a few more recharging days without my body forcing another sick day. 

The definition of insanity...


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