Britney's First Marriage Lasted Longer...
I was really looking forward to New Year's Eve. Not only to play my role of the "Paris Hilton of NASCAR" but also to spend time with my new husband, Cameron. The rest of the guests were ready to have fun, too. A lot of them dressed up for their roles but I think I was the only one attempting an accent. It was a truly bad Southern accent but at least I tried.
I must say that my Cameron looked fine! He was wearing a nice suit and tie ensemble (I was wearing quite the trampy low cut top but a demurely long skirt - nice combo) and greeted me with a hug and smooch on the cheek when I got there.
It didn't take us long to fall into our roles. He was all, "I love you, Snookums" and I was all, "I don't know how I'd live without you, Sugar Buns." There was also lots of hugging and snuggling. What fun!
However, my Cameron was also hugging and smooching on a lot of other women at the party. I would turn around for a second and he would be off trying his Joey (How you doing?) on one of the ladies.
I was not pleased.
Nor were the husbands in the crowd. One of them even came over and told me to keep my husband away from his wife. I think his wife was after my Cameron, to be honest.
It was quite surreal to be introduced. "Have you met my wife, Kathy?" is not something I ever contemplate hearing. I liked it, coming from Cameron. I also liked showing off my HUGE wedding ring. If I had to guess, I'd say it was over 10 carats. Nice.
One of the guests asked how we met and we gave each other the deer in headlights look. He was quicker than I. "You tell the story so much better than I do, honey, you tell them." I made up a tale about meeting in an "adult entertainment" establishment where I was buying the shoes off of one of the entertainers for $10,000. They have nice shoes there, you know. Or, so I've been told. :-)
The lights went out so the host could bring in his wife's birthday cake. All of the candles were so pretty and we sang Happy Birthday. When the lights came back on, the horror was revealed.
My Cameron had been murdered! He was lying on the floor and had been both stabbed and bludgeoned.
After some investigating (and me playing the grieving widow to the hilt), it turned out he was killed by two of the jealous husbands.
We'd all been given extra notes when we got to the party and his had said he needed to kiss every women there. Mine stated that he was going to be the murder victim. I said to the hostess, "So, you're forcing me to necrophelia?"
When I told one of the guys at work that they'd made my hubby the murder victim, he said, "Your friends totally effed you!" I hadn't thought about it that way, but I think he's right!
I figured it was just my luck, I scored the young stud and the marriage was over in less than 2 hours.
Maybe I should ask Cameron for a do-over on the whole being married thing...
I must say that my Cameron looked fine! He was wearing a nice suit and tie ensemble (I was wearing quite the trampy low cut top but a demurely long skirt - nice combo) and greeted me with a hug and smooch on the cheek when I got there.
It didn't take us long to fall into our roles. He was all, "I love you, Snookums" and I was all, "I don't know how I'd live without you, Sugar Buns." There was also lots of hugging and snuggling. What fun!
However, my Cameron was also hugging and smooching on a lot of other women at the party. I would turn around for a second and he would be off trying his Joey (How you doing?) on one of the ladies.
I was not pleased.
Nor were the husbands in the crowd. One of them even came over and told me to keep my husband away from his wife. I think his wife was after my Cameron, to be honest.
It was quite surreal to be introduced. "Have you met my wife, Kathy?" is not something I ever contemplate hearing. I liked it, coming from Cameron. I also liked showing off my HUGE wedding ring. If I had to guess, I'd say it was over 10 carats. Nice.
One of the guests asked how we met and we gave each other the deer in headlights look. He was quicker than I. "You tell the story so much better than I do, honey, you tell them." I made up a tale about meeting in an "adult entertainment" establishment where I was buying the shoes off of one of the entertainers for $10,000. They have nice shoes there, you know. Or, so I've been told. :-)
The lights went out so the host could bring in his wife's birthday cake. All of the candles were so pretty and we sang Happy Birthday. When the lights came back on, the horror was revealed.
My Cameron had been murdered! He was lying on the floor and had been both stabbed and bludgeoned.
After some investigating (and me playing the grieving widow to the hilt), it turned out he was killed by two of the jealous husbands.
We'd all been given extra notes when we got to the party and his had said he needed to kiss every women there. Mine stated that he was going to be the murder victim. I said to the hostess, "So, you're forcing me to necrophelia?"
When I told one of the guys at work that they'd made my hubby the murder victim, he said, "Your friends totally effed you!" I hadn't thought about it that way, but I think he's right!
I figured it was just my luck, I scored the young stud and the marriage was over in less than 2 hours.
Maybe I should ask Cameron for a do-over on the whole being married thing...
