Parrot Grande - Golf
The core of my team has been the same most years with Tom, Captain Blood and me playing together with a different fourth. I went looking for our new fourth who was nowhere to be found. Her boyfriend told me she was snoozing. Slacker. In theory, that meant I would have to make more shots on the course to make up for hers.
See, here's how I play. I only do best ball tourneys. I let the boys tee off and, after the first couple of holes, I only tee off if there's a possibility that I can outdrive one of them. I also don't drive the cart and I generally don't pick up any balls. By the end of the round, I usually don't get out of the cart at all except to putt.
I like to think of it as Princess Golf.
Captain Blood teeing off.
There were three 9 hole teams so we all started on the same hole to make it fair. Well, relatively fair. I'd already gone on record that we were cheating this year. We teed off first then headed down the fairway. The group (Keith the Pirate, Norm, Jon and Sarah) behind us immediately hit into us then harassed us because we were taking too long. I'm not sure why they were bitching since they didn't catch up to us the whole day after that. Just whiners, I guess.
Wood-Eye spent the days dodging balls...golf balls, that is.
The club ponied up for a super contest this year. There were various hole in one opportunities that could win a trip, golf irons, airplane tix or $10,000. Yep, $10K was up for grabs. As part of the rules, a non-playing witness had to be on the big prize hole and Woody volunteered. After sitting out there for 6 hours, I don't know that he'll offer again. No one won, BTW.
Promotional Golf Signs.To raise more money, we sold golf signs and hole sponsorships. Some of the signs were for businesses and some were personal. The personal ranged from embarrassing (Snapple, anyone?) to sweet (Crime Dog did a nice one for TFMCD and the Babes did one for Mom O'Malley).
One one green, Captain Blood noticed a tarantula on the edge of the rough. The course is in the middle of the desert so it's not the first one we've seen out there. Fortunately, it was dead so I didn't have to scream like a girl and run from it. He decided to move it near the hole so the next group could "enjoy" it. I said it was more like "repelled" by it.
The beer cart only came around once!?!?! We were pretty much dying of thirst out there so I think we could sue them for endangerment or negligence or something. When we hit the turn at 18 we had a few holes left but we paused by the oasis to get another round. While she was pouring, Tom decided the brats looked good so we each grabbed one. Good thing as I would never had lunch otherwise.
We actually played pretty well. Tom had some awesome drives, Captain Blood hit some great shots and I was a stunningly good putter. I dropped a couple longish ones and I was aces when we had to putt with the lime. I scored us at -1 but we were probably +2 or 3. Not bad considering the guys were carrying the total hacker that I am.
However, we didn't win because there were bigger cheaters than we out there. Keith, Norm, Jon and Sarah recorded something like -6. I saw them play - they ain't that good! I'm thinking we might end up around -8 or 9 next year.
