This Is So Wrong Yet So Funny

The Onion does it again.

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February 2020

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Most of 2020 sucked. But, there were some good moments that made memories to cling to. I'm going to review some of those moments from each month. (Disclaimer - my memory isn't what it used to be so this is my story and I'm sticking to it regardless of reality.) I moved into my house in May of 2019 and it was already hot out so I used the Arizona summer as an excuse not to do anything to my patio or yard. I don't recall what excuse I used to justify ignoring the both in the fall and winter. Let's go with complete laziness. It's entirely plausible. However, I had to get on the stick and pretty it up because I had a bunch of company scheduled for the spring. The first thing I did was get some inexpensive chairs from Target for my beat up table. I honestly thought I could jam them into my car. I really, really did. One would never guess I was a Tetris master. After several futile attempts, this is how it ultimately went down. Adam (answering cell): Hi, Kathy! Me: Hi
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March 2020

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Most of 2020 sucked. But, there were some good moments that made memories to cling to. I'm going to review some of those moments from each month. (Disclaimer - my memory isn't what it used to be so this is my story and I'm sticking to it regardless of reality.) The home improvements continued in March. More complaining from Steven continued as well. Bzzzz. Bzzzz. Party lights on the back patio. Solar lights on the driveway and front patio. Hanging the lights was easy. The front lights were more challenging. Apparently, my front yard is a shallow layer of gravel on top of packed dirt impersonating concrete. Steven ended up digging holes with a screwdriver then shoving the bases of the lights in while I followed behind and attached the actual light part. It looks great except that I think all of the batteries (yep, solar lights with batteries) have worn out now so I need to replace them. It sure made my house easier to find at night. As is my way, I waited until the last minu
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May 2020

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Most of 2020 sucked. But, there were some good moments that made memories to cling to. I'm going to review some of those moments from each month. (Disclaimer - my memory isn't what it used to be so this is my story and I'm sticking to it regardless of reality.) My birthday is in May. I don't make a big deal out of it because I don't want to do the math. Seriously. It's just not possible that I'm this old. Celebrating in a quarantine is right up my alley. However, my friends and family thought differently. Birthday cards from around the country. My friend Jim started a secret (to me) Facebook event and asked mutual friends to mail me a card. Funny side story, he put the wrong ZIP for my address. I imagine the post office staff in 85033 enjoyed processing those forwards a lot. It was very thoughtful and fun and my pals Brenda and Scott sent me a new game to play as well. Have I mentioned lately that my friends are better humans than I? They are. Drop offs and
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