Kathy's Book Club Etiquette
After reading my last post, I realized some people may think I was taking a shot at Anna who joined us last night but hadn't read the book. I wasn't, she was a model book club citizen. So, I decided to share my views on the subject of book club etiquette (aren't you feeling fortunate?) to clarify what I mean and feel.
The reason to attend a book club meeting is to discuss the book!
Whew, I feel better now. I'm not saying people can't add value to the discussion if they haven't read the book, but in general, the meeting is more productive if everyone's on the same page, so to speak.
Let me explain further...
Here's what starts the etiquette violations. Someone shows up and says one of the following:
"I started the book but didn't have time to finish it."
"I skimmed it over."
"I ordered it from Amazon (or the library) and haven't gotten it yet."
"I didn't even get it but I'm pretty versed in the subject matter."
Now, at this point we're all still good. The person can still join in general conversations (like Anna did) but that's about it. However, sometimes they don't stop there and turn into one of the following aggravating types.
The Dominator
This person is often unapologetic about not reading the book and dominates the conversation with sweeping pronouncements on what the author should or shouldn't have said and how we should interpret the book's message. The Dominator is completely undeterred by comments from other members that start "If you had read the book, you'd know that..." or "The author did address that issue..." and the like. Dominator behavior is usually consistent over several meetings. If you have a Dominator in your group, kick him or her out and save your group the aggravation.
The Plot Loser
The Plot Loser usually skims the book or doesn't finish it. This causes the group to spend discussion time explaining who characters are and events that happened. An example:
Member: "I didn't believe John's reaction to Sally's threat."
Plot Loser: "Who's John and what was the threat?"
Member: "John's the next door neighbor and she threatened to kill him."
Plot Loser: "Oh, I must not have gotten to that."
Member: "Um, it was in Chapter Two (you nitwit)."
The Tangent Taker
Tangents are not a bad thing and can lead to some great discussions. However, those discussions are usually somewhat related to the text. The Tangent Taker is not familiar with the text so he or she will glom on to some key words in the discussion and try to take the group off subject. An example:
Member: "I thought the continued imagery of the blue sky was clever."
Tangent Taker: "Blue Skies is my favorite Willie Nelson song. I remember this one time I saw him in concert..."
The Socializer
The Socializer looks upon book club meetings as a chance to chat with friends and often tries to engage people in side conversations during the general discussion. There are times for socializing (hey, it's one of my favorite things to do), but those times are before the discussion gets started and after it's done. Socializers actually killed a book club I was in a few years ago. It got to the point where maybe 2 out of 5 or 6 people had read the book and the rest were there to drink some wine and chat about their lives. There's a time for that, too, and it's called Happy Hour.
In conclusion (if you got this far, you're probably cheering those two words), I love my book clubs but I love them even more when we can all equally and knowledgeably participate in the conversation about the book. There are times when one of us may slip into one of the above types and it's not a horrible transgression but those who consistently behave in those modes really get to me. I'm not trying to be a book club despot, I just want everyone to respect each other's time and effort to read and discuss the book.
The reason to attend a book club meeting is to discuss the book!
Whew, I feel better now. I'm not saying people can't add value to the discussion if they haven't read the book, but in general, the meeting is more productive if everyone's on the same page, so to speak.
Let me explain further...
Here's what starts the etiquette violations. Someone shows up and says one of the following:
"I started the book but didn't have time to finish it."
"I skimmed it over."
"I ordered it from Amazon (or the library) and haven't gotten it yet."
"I didn't even get it but I'm pretty versed in the subject matter."
Now, at this point we're all still good. The person can still join in general conversations (like Anna did) but that's about it. However, sometimes they don't stop there and turn into one of the following aggravating types.
The Dominator
This person is often unapologetic about not reading the book and dominates the conversation with sweeping pronouncements on what the author should or shouldn't have said and how we should interpret the book's message. The Dominator is completely undeterred by comments from other members that start "If you had read the book, you'd know that..." or "The author did address that issue..." and the like. Dominator behavior is usually consistent over several meetings. If you have a Dominator in your group, kick him or her out and save your group the aggravation.
The Plot Loser
The Plot Loser usually skims the book or doesn't finish it. This causes the group to spend discussion time explaining who characters are and events that happened. An example:
Member: "I didn't believe John's reaction to Sally's threat."
Plot Loser: "Who's John and what was the threat?"
Member: "John's the next door neighbor and she threatened to kill him."
Plot Loser: "Oh, I must not have gotten to that."
Member: "Um, it was in Chapter Two (you nitwit)."
The Tangent Taker
Tangents are not a bad thing and can lead to some great discussions. However, those discussions are usually somewhat related to the text. The Tangent Taker is not familiar with the text so he or she will glom on to some key words in the discussion and try to take the group off subject. An example:
Member: "I thought the continued imagery of the blue sky was clever."
Tangent Taker: "Blue Skies is my favorite Willie Nelson song. I remember this one time I saw him in concert..."
The Socializer
The Socializer looks upon book club meetings as a chance to chat with friends and often tries to engage people in side conversations during the general discussion. There are times for socializing (hey, it's one of my favorite things to do), but those times are before the discussion gets started and after it's done. Socializers actually killed a book club I was in a few years ago. It got to the point where maybe 2 out of 5 or 6 people had read the book and the rest were there to drink some wine and chat about their lives. There's a time for that, too, and it's called Happy Hour.
In conclusion (if you got this far, you're probably cheering those two words), I love my book clubs but I love them even more when we can all equally and knowledgeably participate in the conversation about the book. There are times when one of us may slip into one of the above types and it's not a horrible transgression but those who consistently behave in those modes really get to me. I'm not trying to be a book club despot, I just want everyone to respect each other's time and effort to read and discuss the book.
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