How Deep Can The Hole Get?
I've been getting crap for making The Rocket Scientist my personal driver. Some people seem to think I'm taking advantage of his (perceived) unreal level of niceness. I'm just going with logic. He drinks less than I do and prefers to drive. So, really, I'm being smart and being a giver at the same time.
He's going fishing this week with Pirate Rick and I'm on kitty duty so I needed to get his house key from him. We decided to do dinner and he came over to pick me up.
On occasion, I have actually offered to drive (or I rope Steven into it) and I did so last night. It wasn't out of altruism, to be honest. I wanted to show off my sparkling clean car. It's been gathering an increasingly deep layer of dust and dirt for the past few months and I kept saying I was going to get it washed but other things just seemed more important.
We headed off to a new restaurant at Tempe Marketplace not realizing that they'd set up a temporary USPS tax spot at the mall. Traffic was all backed up and he suggested I move to the right lane. Then he suggested I turn on my signal. Then, it was "move, move. move" and "that guy gave you 30 feet to get in!" I said, "Dude, I just got my car pretty. I don't want to get it dented."
I moved into the right lane and continued on accompanied by more "suggestions" as to when and where I should turn. I was not happy and clearly so. I told him I get enough complaining about my driving at lunch from Sugar Daddy. The ultimate annoyance was when he saw a spot open up and starting doing a little chant of "ooo, ooo, ooo" and pointing. Later, he said that extra bit was just to push my buttons. I don't believe him.
I parked the car and told him, "You've just frakked yourself because I'm never driving again. In fact, you're driving home."
As we were driving home, I waited to see if he was going to take the shortcut out the side way and he did. I said, "See how I didn't tell you what to do because I figured you would go the right way?" Then, we got to the exit and he didn't get into the correct lane so I just gently tapped on my window and said, "You need to be in the right lane." I might have also mentioned how nice I was about it and managed to do it without going "ooo, ooo!"
He tried to dig himself out of the hole but it just kept getting deeper. There was some stuff about having to be in control and being kind of snappy the past two weeks (it's been more than two weeks) and other stuff that just didn't fly. He even went for the sympathy grab by mentioning it was tough getting a hold of his kids that night. The more he talked, the worse it got.
After we got back to my place, he asked if I'd seen a video that Woody had sent. I said it wanted me to download a Quicktime app so I hadn't yet. That was met with disbelief and an intimation that I just didn't know what I was doing. I opened up my laptop to show him and he acknowledged that I was correct. I will give him props for suggesting I forward it to Yahoo from my Cox account because it then worked without any additional downloads.
To top it all off, he forgot to bring the key. I suspected as much when he didn't produce it right away. I told him I would stop by tonight to pick it up since I never know when I'm going to get off work. He started to say, "Good, then I can refresh you on the alarm" when I cut him off by reciting the alarm code and giving a look that I hope conveyed, 'I'm not a moron, I can remember how to use an alarm.' I wish I had added, 'and I'm not the one who forgot the key'.
BTW, the whole forgetting the key thing? Clearly a desperate ploy to spend more time with me before leaving for four days. It's so obvious.
He's going fishing this week with Pirate Rick and I'm on kitty duty so I needed to get his house key from him. We decided to do dinner and he came over to pick me up.
On occasion, I have actually offered to drive (or I rope Steven into it) and I did so last night. It wasn't out of altruism, to be honest. I wanted to show off my sparkling clean car. It's been gathering an increasingly deep layer of dust and dirt for the past few months and I kept saying I was going to get it washed but other things just seemed more important.
We headed off to a new restaurant at Tempe Marketplace not realizing that they'd set up a temporary USPS tax spot at the mall. Traffic was all backed up and he suggested I move to the right lane. Then he suggested I turn on my signal. Then, it was "move, move. move" and "that guy gave you 30 feet to get in!" I said, "Dude, I just got my car pretty. I don't want to get it dented."
I moved into the right lane and continued on accompanied by more "suggestions" as to when and where I should turn. I was not happy and clearly so. I told him I get enough complaining about my driving at lunch from Sugar Daddy. The ultimate annoyance was when he saw a spot open up and starting doing a little chant of "ooo, ooo, ooo" and pointing. Later, he said that extra bit was just to push my buttons. I don't believe him.
I parked the car and told him, "You've just frakked yourself because I'm never driving again. In fact, you're driving home."
As we were driving home, I waited to see if he was going to take the shortcut out the side way and he did. I said, "See how I didn't tell you what to do because I figured you would go the right way?" Then, we got to the exit and he didn't get into the correct lane so I just gently tapped on my window and said, "You need to be in the right lane." I might have also mentioned how nice I was about it and managed to do it without going "ooo, ooo!"
He tried to dig himself out of the hole but it just kept getting deeper. There was some stuff about having to be in control and being kind of snappy the past two weeks (it's been more than two weeks) and other stuff that just didn't fly. He even went for the sympathy grab by mentioning it was tough getting a hold of his kids that night. The more he talked, the worse it got.
After we got back to my place, he asked if I'd seen a video that Woody had sent. I said it wanted me to download a Quicktime app so I hadn't yet. That was met with disbelief and an intimation that I just didn't know what I was doing. I opened up my laptop to show him and he acknowledged that I was correct. I will give him props for suggesting I forward it to Yahoo from my Cox account because it then worked without any additional downloads.
To top it all off, he forgot to bring the key. I suspected as much when he didn't produce it right away. I told him I would stop by tonight to pick it up since I never know when I'm going to get off work. He started to say, "Good, then I can refresh you on the alarm" when I cut him off by reciting the alarm code and giving a look that I hope conveyed, 'I'm not a moron, I can remember how to use an alarm.' I wish I had added, 'and I'm not the one who forgot the key'.
BTW, the whole forgetting the key thing? Clearly a desperate ploy to spend more time with me before leaving for four days. It's so obvious.
