Not Quite Sure How to Take This
So, I was asking one of my friends about one of his friends who happens to be a single, available guy. They guy in question seems to be decent, smart and has a sense of humor and is easy on the eye. Nice package there.
My friend tells me, "He's too nice for you."
Now, I could have taken offense at that but I think see where's he's coming from. I am sometimes bossy, pushy and demanding (yes, only sometimes, okay, often) and I tend to be attracted to people who push back at me instead of bending to my will. I like someone who can dish it out as much as I can and sometimes the debating can be really fun. A pushover would bore me to tears in a short period of time.
However, I've been giving it some thought and, while a pushover isn't what I'm looking for, I think I need to go more of the 'nice guy' route rather than the 'control freak' route. I love to argue about stuff (a lot) but constant power struggles and passive aggressive behavior just wears me down. Life doesn't always have to be about who's got the upper hand but, by God, don't try to have it on me all the time!
Here's how things go with a control freak:
Me: What time do you want to leave tonight?
Him: I don't care, you decide.
Me: Ok, let's leave at 7.
Him: I think that's too late, we should leave at 6:30.
Me (thinking): WTF? If you knew you wanted to leave at 6:30, why didn't you just say so?
To top it off, they'd be late so we actually wouldn't leave until 7. I say "they" because I've dated more than one control freak and this interaction was a common experience. It's like every little thing was an opportunity to try to get me to submit to their authority or something. Crazy stuff and I don't want to go through that again.
So, I'm thinking a nice guy would be a very welcome change.
We could have conversations like this:
Me: What time do you want to leave tonight?
Him: I don't care, you decide.
Me: Ok, let's leave at 7.
Him: Sounds good.
Or maybe like this:
Him: We should leave at 6:30 tonight.
Me: OK.
Then, my friend says to me, "You know how women think they can change a guy but they can't? Well, you could change this guy to be not so nice."
Now, wait a minute! How am I supposed to take that? That I'd be such a beyotch that the guy would snap and do a 180 on the old personality meter? Or, could he have meant that being with me would show him that he needs to stand up for himself more or he'll get smothered?
He could have meant that I could help the guy learn how to be less nice for the sake of being nice and realize the value of giving and supporting his own opinion because that's what I do. You know, as if I were a role model of sorts.
Somehow, I don't think it's more likely a combination of my first two theories…
My friend tells me, "He's too nice for you."
Now, I could have taken offense at that but I think see where's he's coming from. I am sometimes bossy, pushy and demanding (yes, only sometimes, okay, often) and I tend to be attracted to people who push back at me instead of bending to my will. I like someone who can dish it out as much as I can and sometimes the debating can be really fun. A pushover would bore me to tears in a short period of time.
However, I've been giving it some thought and, while a pushover isn't what I'm looking for, I think I need to go more of the 'nice guy' route rather than the 'control freak' route. I love to argue about stuff (a lot) but constant power struggles and passive aggressive behavior just wears me down. Life doesn't always have to be about who's got the upper hand but, by God, don't try to have it on me all the time!
Here's how things go with a control freak:
Me: What time do you want to leave tonight?
Him: I don't care, you decide.
Me: Ok, let's leave at 7.
Him: I think that's too late, we should leave at 6:30.
Me (thinking): WTF? If you knew you wanted to leave at 6:30, why didn't you just say so?
To top it off, they'd be late so we actually wouldn't leave until 7. I say "they" because I've dated more than one control freak and this interaction was a common experience. It's like every little thing was an opportunity to try to get me to submit to their authority or something. Crazy stuff and I don't want to go through that again.
So, I'm thinking a nice guy would be a very welcome change.
We could have conversations like this:
Me: What time do you want to leave tonight?
Him: I don't care, you decide.
Me: Ok, let's leave at 7.
Him: Sounds good.
Or maybe like this:
Him: We should leave at 6:30 tonight.
Me: OK.
Then, my friend says to me, "You know how women think they can change a guy but they can't? Well, you could change this guy to be not so nice."
Now, wait a minute! How am I supposed to take that? That I'd be such a beyotch that the guy would snap and do a 180 on the old personality meter? Or, could he have meant that being with me would show him that he needs to stand up for himself more or he'll get smothered?
He could have meant that I could help the guy learn how to be less nice for the sake of being nice and realize the value of giving and supporting his own opinion because that's what I do. You know, as if I were a role model of sorts.
Somehow, I don't think it's more likely a combination of my first two theories…
