The Forbidden blank Dance of Love

I went out last week with Ted, an old high school buddy, and his girlfriend Rhena to Rio Salado for a lot of fun and way too many beers. A little background about Ted: he's an engineer (used to be a rocket scientist which was much more glamorous sounding), an unabashed conservative who used to call me Pinkie because he thought I was a Commie instead of a liberal and he's one of the few people whiter than I am.

So, there we were laughing it up and telling stories when Ted said to Rhena, "You didn't like my Forbidden Toothbrush Dance of Love". (Or something to that effect, we were drinking microbrews so it was getting a little hazy.)

OK, the first thing that came to mind was that old joke where the couple's house got broken into and when they later developed film from their camera they saw a burglar with one of their toothbrushes up his butt. So, now I have this picture of Ted, naked with a toothbrush stuck somewhere I don't want to think about doing the only dance a white man can do, the Chicken Dance.

I am now scarred for life by that image.

Apparently, it's a game for them and Ted thinks it's erotic because it's "Forbidden". He just fills in the blank with something like "underwear" or, I don't know, "cucumber" and dances around like a geeky white guy.

Great, that's another scarring image, Ted with a cucumber.

I must drink more beer to kill those brain cells...

Popular posts from this blog

TV At Its Finest

I was talking to someone today who didn’t know who Bob Newhart was. I cut him some slack because he’s a youngster and didn’t grow up in the U.S. I told him about The Bob Newhart show and how it became a college drinking game and about Newhart, "Hi, I'm Larry; this is my brother Darryl, and this is my other brother Darryl." He was going to go to Wikipedia and do some research. The conversation got me thinking. Back in the day (like when dinosaurs were alive and I was young and there were only four channels on TV), we caught a lot of reruns of what are now considered classic TV. Especially, if you were a latchkey kid like I was, there wasn’t a lot going on in the afternoon/early evening so it was either soap operas or reruns unless you were allowed to be outside and play. And, of course, during summer vacation you had even more time to watch the boob tube. Here’s what I remember watching during those years: Gilligan’s Island, Big Valley (I’m still looking for my very own N
Read more

This Is How Fat Thinks

I was in Vegas over the weekend and Thursday night found me sitting at the bar in Margaritaville with some friends. We were having some drinks, talking to strangers and watching both the baseball and football games. All was well with the world. Out of nowhere, a young (20s?) guy came up behind me and snapped a selfie with me in it. He moved away before I could even get out "What was that about?" Less than 30 seconds later, another young guy came up and did the same. He also bounded away before I could stop him. My very first thought was that they were doing a photo scavenger hunt and one of the items was a picture with the fattest woman they found. Hell, could even have been the fattest person they saw if I let my mind take it further. Now, assuming a scavenger hunt, there are other reasons they could have wanted a picture of me. Maybe they needed a ginger, maybe it was someone with their hair in braids, maybe it was someone in the brightest colored shirt they could fin
Read more