Men - Pursue or Not?
The topic of the week around here has been whether a woman should pursue a man she's interested in or wait for him to make the move.
I was out with a friend on Friday and she told a story about being on a group trip over the weekend where she and one of the guys hit it off. They spent most of their time together and the group was wagering on whether they would hook up. He did proposition her but she said no (what willpower!) because she felt that if they did get together she would rather it be when they're back in town and not on an alcohol influenced weekend fling. When they got back to town, she called him twice and invited him to some social functions. Both times, he declined because of his kids' schedule. I told her she was done, she had shown an interest and now the ball was in his court. The consensus of those surveyed agreed with me.
I'll digress a bit on the kid thing. One of the reasons I'm semi-serious about dating someone in their 20s is they usually don't have kids. I have enough trouble keeping my own schedule straight and trying to remember which week or night the guy I'm dating has his kids is a pain. Doesn't mean that I won't date someone with kids, though, I would just have to really like him a lot.
OK, back to the topic, here's where people don't agree with me. There's a guy, I'll call him Mr. X, whom I am interested in getting to know better. It's pretty obvious, too. Sugar Daddy says I should call and ask him out. I refuse to do so. Mr. X has my contact info and, if he wants to go out, he can get a hold of me. Sugar Daddy thinks it's no different than calling my buddy Keith for an evening out, but the difference is that Keith and I don't want to date each other.
The last serious relationship I had, I pursued the guy and he ended up taking me for granted and ended it all very poorly. I honestly believe he would have been more considerate if he hadn't thought I was a sure thing and had to work at it more.
The consensus is that I should call Mr. X, though. Becky said that if he turned me down, I would at least know his intentions. Morgan said I should call as long as Mr. X is financially stable. I hadn't even thought about that since I'm not looking for a long term thing like marriage or even living together. I've already stated Sugar Daddy's opinion but I think he would encourage me to do anything that would get me out of the house.
Maybe it's cowardice on my part, or fear of rejection (is that the same as cowardice?), but I'm not going to call Mr. X. We'll run into each other again some time so we'll see where it goes.
I was out with a friend on Friday and she told a story about being on a group trip over the weekend where she and one of the guys hit it off. They spent most of their time together and the group was wagering on whether they would hook up. He did proposition her but she said no (what willpower!) because she felt that if they did get together she would rather it be when they're back in town and not on an alcohol influenced weekend fling. When they got back to town, she called him twice and invited him to some social functions. Both times, he declined because of his kids' schedule. I told her she was done, she had shown an interest and now the ball was in his court. The consensus of those surveyed agreed with me.
I'll digress a bit on the kid thing. One of the reasons I'm semi-serious about dating someone in their 20s is they usually don't have kids. I have enough trouble keeping my own schedule straight and trying to remember which week or night the guy I'm dating has his kids is a pain. Doesn't mean that I won't date someone with kids, though, I would just have to really like him a lot.
OK, back to the topic, here's where people don't agree with me. There's a guy, I'll call him Mr. X, whom I am interested in getting to know better. It's pretty obvious, too. Sugar Daddy says I should call and ask him out. I refuse to do so. Mr. X has my contact info and, if he wants to go out, he can get a hold of me. Sugar Daddy thinks it's no different than calling my buddy Keith for an evening out, but the difference is that Keith and I don't want to date each other.
The last serious relationship I had, I pursued the guy and he ended up taking me for granted and ended it all very poorly. I honestly believe he would have been more considerate if he hadn't thought I was a sure thing and had to work at it more.
The consensus is that I should call Mr. X, though. Becky said that if he turned me down, I would at least know his intentions. Morgan said I should call as long as Mr. X is financially stable. I hadn't even thought about that since I'm not looking for a long term thing like marriage or even living together. I've already stated Sugar Daddy's opinion but I think he would encourage me to do anything that would get me out of the house.
Maybe it's cowardice on my part, or fear of rejection (is that the same as cowardice?), but I'm not going to call Mr. X. We'll run into each other again some time so we'll see where it goes.
