Tales From Utah - Where's the Coffee?

The Rhettster is well known for his "naps". I can't count how many times during our partying that we've suddenly realized that he's nodded off in a corner or on a couch or even sitting up in a chair.

Last year, when I was in Utah, Rhett went down for the night in Lewie's downstairs. We couldn't wake him so Lewie actually carried him up the stairs and out to the car. It was hilarious. Rhett swore that it would "never, never happen again".

It almost did.

After the Matt Wahl show and during the post-party party, Rhett went out. As fate would have it, we were again in Lewie's downstairs.


Lewie tried to carry Rhett again this time but he couldn't get the leverage to fully lift him. Lewie and I ended up each grabbing one of Rhett's arms and literally pulling him to an upright position. I don't know that he actually woke up but he did manage to get up the stairs and into the car. Gary and I were pretty happy about that since we then had to get him to the condo from the car and I don't think either of us was relishing trying to carry him.

Rhett managed to get from the car to the condo under his own steam. We grabbed his duffel bag and the bottle of Sailor Jerry's and headed in. The Sailor Jerry's was for a little nightcap for Gary and me since we knew Rhett was going to be out again and soon.

Once we were in the condo, we pulled out the sofa bed for Rhett. I found the sheets and tried to actually make the bed but he insisted he could just lie on the fitted sheet (bunched underneath him) and make do with a blanket. Since I'm a lover, not a fighter, I let him.

The next morning, we had had plans to go out to breakfast with Matt around 8:30. I heard Rhett rustling around starting about 6 or so. I tried to get back to sleep but without success so I got up. Rhett greeted me with a question, "Where's my coffee? I brought in the crate. Is it sill at Lewie's?" He'd been making so much noise, I thought he had made coffee but apparently he was just looking for it. I told him it was probably in the car and as I was headed to the bathroom to shower, he busted in on Gary and got the car keys.

When I got out of the shower, the coffee was made and there was a coffee cup on the coffee table (funny how that works out). Rhett was asleep again on the couch. Filling in the blanks later, Gary told me that when he got up, Rhett told him, "You have to make the coffee." Gary replied, "It's already made." Rhett's response was, "Kathy must have made it."

Gary poured himself a cup of joe (I had my Diet Pepsi and was quite happy with that). I had called Matt and said we would pick him up at his condo at 9 so we had a few minutes to relax. Rhett woke up and again started in on, "I need some coffee. You guys lost my crate."

That's when it occurred to me that he might still be drunk from the previous night.

So, I dragged him to the kitchen table and told Gary to pour him a cup of coffee to try to sober him a little bit. He drank a few sips and I tried to get more into him before we left. I think he might have gotten a quarter of a cup down.


Before we left, I announced that I was going to unplug the coffee pot (safety first is my motto (well, that and never turn down a free beer)). It was discussed that they could always heat it some in the microwave if they wanted it later and Rhett said he would just drink it cold. Gary also moved the crate out of the way into our hallway so we wouldn't be tripping over it.

We got to the restaurant and Matt, Gary and Rhett ordered coffee. Here's what Rhett had to say, "Finally, I'm getting some coffee! You guys lost my crate. I had stuff to make coffee in there." We told him that not only had we not lost the crate, he had gotten it out of the car and made coffee that morning. He called us liars and other not so nice things.

By this time, I was busting a gut every time the subject came up. I also told the story to everyone and we enjoyed it as, throughout the day, Rhett would bring up his version that there was no coffee and we all jumped on him. By the end of the day, he said to me, "Did I really make coffee this morning?"

It finally sunk in!

The evidence was clear!

I won't even go into the story about his cooler and how we left that at Lewie's, too. Only we didn't and Rhett brought inside when he got the crate. OK, I went into it a little bit.

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