Not A Match Made In Heaven

A few years ago (more than three, less than ten), I decided to try online dating. I was living in BFE Chandler with very few places to hang out and an unsocial roomie who wouldn't have gone out with me (except to dinner) even if there were places. I also figured I should stop dating guys from the club (a lesson I apparently have still not learned).

eHarmony was the service I chose. I fell for the personality matching algorithm because I'd heard that and the like were more meat market hookup places then long-term relationship finders.

I filled out my profile and signed up for three months and got a bunch of matches. However, I don't think those were all active profiles. I sent out lots of messages and didn't get replies nor did the matches get removed which you can do if you think someone's not right.

I even had my skinniest picture on there because, even though 2/3 of Americans are overweight or obese it seems like 100% of American men think their soulmate should be skinny. Good luck with that, American men. (Update: in order to make a point, I made a sweeping generalization there that wasn't fair to the many men I know who love and find women who aren't society's view of "perfect" attractive and lovable. Of course, of those men I'm thinking of, only one is not married or already been married. Maybe I should change it to 99% of single American men?)

I did get to the "coffee date" point with one guy. We agreed to meet at the Starbucks at Barnes and Noble one night. Silly me, I thought they'd serve at least one non-coffee drink but I ended up with an expensive bottle of water as my beverage.

So, we were chatting about books and lives and he tells me that he's a minister. I was like, what was that you said? Yes, a minister of his own church (I think it was non-denominational). Seriously, can you imagine?

At that point in life, I would have described myself as agnostic. I answered the religion question with an "I don't care" reply because I've met great people of all faiths and no faiths. I'm tolerant of their beliefs even if I don't agree at all as long as they're tolerant of mine. (OK, I try to be tolerant but some of them are batshit crazy.)

However, I gotta say, a minister was just too religious for me. I imagine I was too non-religious for him as well. It was our only date.

I think the reason we got matched was we both loved books. However, while he said he re-read the Bible from cover to cover each year, I was more into re-reading The Lord of the Rings trilogy ever year.

We were also in the desired age group. In true Mrs. Robinson fashion, I said I wanted up to five years older and ten years younger. He was in the former category.

Of course, this being me and it being such a small world, it turned out that I knew the guy. Based on a few things he said and his very distinctive voice, I realized he went to my high school. We had a group of kids who did morning announcements and he was one of them.

On an aside, I tried out for that group once and didn't make it. I'm disappointed in myself that I didn't keep trying. I think it would have been good fun and good experience because everyone wrote their own material.

Why do I bring this story up now? Well, our high school is celebrating it's 50th Anniversary and some of us went out Saturday night for a celebration. I was looking through someone else's pictures on Facebook and, there he was. I didn't see him at the event and probably wouldn't have recognized him without the ever helpful Facebook tag.

Still a small world.

And, I'm still dateless.

Could to know constants are truly constant.


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