This Was Not Food

There was a silent auction and raffle at The Last Man Standing party in Vegas on Friday night. My usual approach to those is to buy a bunch of raffle tickets and give them to The Rocket Scientist so he can check the numbers and claim my prizes. It's usually prizes plural because I buy a lot of tickets.

For the silent auction, I cruise through and write down starting bids on a bunch of items and raise a few that I suspect will go higher. I like to get the ball rolling. So, that's what I did and then thought nothing of it until later in the evening when they announced some people hadn't picked up their items yet.

I checked it out and both Crash and I had one item where we were the only bidders. Of course, hers was $10 and mine was $65 but that was just the way the weekend went for us when it came to money. In retrospect, I might have bid on the value of the basket and not the starting bid but, oh well, it was a bargain regardless.

Here's what I got:

Super fancy basket that we'll reuse for another silent auction
Three bottles of wine
Set of four cocktail plates
Two wine glasses
Two pretty cloth napkins
Mr. Peanut spreader
Can of peanuts
Bag of mixed nuts
Box of crackers
Summer Sausage log
Dessert Mints
Tabasco Sauce



What the hell? I'm a Wisconsin native - this is blasphemy! If I'd had two beef sticks I would have formed them in the shape of a cross and cried out, "Begone, evil thing!".

I checked out the list of ingredients. You have to go twelve items deep to get to "cheese culture", whatever that is. Shudder.

But, I didn't want to be a judgmental snob without evidence. I had some cauliflower that I blanched then melted some of this on top of it.

Yeah, I should have accepted I was a judgmental snob with valid reasons and spared myself. Words fail to describe how disgusting it tasted. I can't believe it was actually manufactured in Wisconsin. It should be banned.

I stand by my conviction - this was not food and cheese does not come from squirt bottles.


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