I Keep Getting Dumber and Dumber


I swear I’m not doing this boneheaded stuff just so I have blog fodder.

I went to make my new fave dish for dinner. Hot Italian sausage, chopped greens, onion and garlic with pasta. I put a pot of water on the back burner set to high to boil and my cast iron pan on the front burner set to medium-low to heat up so I could brown the sausage.

I cut a hole in the end of the sausage casing and squeezed out its contests into my pan. I had an instant, dramatic sounding sizzle and a boat load of smoke. By the time I got the pan off the stove, my smoke alarm was blaring. I put the stove fan on high and went to open the front and back doors. George was hiding behind her kitty condo at the front door and looked at me with terror in her eyes. I felt bad but was happy to know that something actually scares her.

The sausage was scorched in places so much so that I had to slice the burnt parts off. My pan was carbon coated so I had to scrub it before I could use it again. This time, though, I put some oil in the pan first though I usually get enough grease from the sausage to do my cooking.

I didn’t get any scorching but it still was really hot so I turned the burner down and had to keep stirring as I put the onions and garlic in. I took it off the burner altogether and thought to myself, “Why isn’t my water boiling after all this time?” It was barely warm.

That’s when it hit me. I had the burner controls backwards and had put the cast iron pan on high and the water pan on medium-low. Doh! No wonder I burned the meat.

This is where having a gas stove would have been very helpful.

Ultimately, the water boiled and my pasta cooked. The greens (I was using Kale this time) cooked down nicely with the sausage mixture and I tossed it all together. Still rather quickly since my pan was still damn hot.

It was all good and, eventually, the smoke cleared out of the house and the cat was back to being a demon but the cat’s Mommy needed two glasses of wine to calm down.

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