I Think I'll Buy a Zebra
El Capitan wrote about his upcoming influx of vast wealth here.
I won't say that I begrudge him his incoming fortune. He seems like a nice guy. Loves his family and kitties and could definitely use a break from working for The Man.
However, I did have twinge of self pity. Why can't I just stumble into big money? I mean, I'm basically a good person. I follow all of the rules, do charity work, I'm nice to small children (as long as they're not shrieking), I love kitties and puppies. I was kinda wishing I'd built enough Karma to get some easy money.
Well, it appears I have!
I got this guaranteed offer of millions from Dr. Bob William today. Since he's a Doctor, I know it's legit. Here's the scoop:
Attention my dear friend:
I am Dr. Bob William, A legal consultant in Dubai United Arab Emirates. I have a client, who is Mr. Jerry Richard the Director for Roads and transportation in his country Zimbabwe, presently residing in Dubai. On behalf of my client Mr. Jerry Richard, I decided to solicit for your assistance to move the sum of $23.5 Million Dollars inherited from his late father to your country for an onward investment under your control.His father was killed during the current war against farmers in Zimbabwe and he owner of Kumani Estates (PVT) Ltd one of the best farms in there country Zimbabwe. Before his father death, he had deposited with one of the security companies in South Africa the sum of $23.5 Million Dollars. After the death of his father he and his mother move to South Africa where his late dad had deposited the money with Security Company as valuables. Before his mother asked hem to move to Dubai in search of a reputable person to assist hem. And they decided to contact an oversea firm or company that can assist hem move this money out of South Africa, because there family is afraid of operating any bank account for now. He have agreed to offer 20% of total sum for your assistance, 5% has been mapped out for any expenses that may be incurred in the course of this transaction and 75% will be for hem and his family to invest in your country. From the above you will underst and that the lives and future of his family depends on this money. As such he will be very happy if you can assist hem, now all I, Dr Bob William want from you is to furnish me with your personal telephone and fax numbers for easy communication. Note that this transaction is 100% risk free and absolutely confidential.Thanks and God bless.Best regardsDr. Bob William
I promise not to change once I'm stinking rich. Well, I might wear a real tiara...every day...and I will get a chauffeur and a Cabana Boy. Guess I'll be getting a cabana then, too. Oh, and I'll be out of the country a lot visiting fantastic places that I will then brag about seeing. More jewelry, definitely getting that. Have to get a convertible, too.
OK, I may change a lot but at the least, I'll send you all post cards from my travels. (Actually, I'll get an assistant to do it but it's the thought that counts, right?)
I won't say that I begrudge him his incoming fortune. He seems like a nice guy. Loves his family and kitties and could definitely use a break from working for The Man.
However, I did have twinge of self pity. Why can't I just stumble into big money? I mean, I'm basically a good person. I follow all of the rules, do charity work, I'm nice to small children (as long as they're not shrieking), I love kitties and puppies. I was kinda wishing I'd built enough Karma to get some easy money.
Well, it appears I have!
I got this guaranteed offer of millions from Dr. Bob William today. Since he's a Doctor, I know it's legit. Here's the scoop:
Attention my dear friend:
I am Dr. Bob William, A legal consultant in Dubai United Arab Emirates. I have a client, who is Mr. Jerry Richard the Director for Roads and transportation in his country Zimbabwe, presently residing in Dubai. On behalf of my client Mr. Jerry Richard, I decided to solicit for your assistance to move the sum of $23.5 Million Dollars inherited from his late father to your country for an onward investment under your control.His father was killed during the current war against farmers in Zimbabwe and he owner of Kumani Estates (PVT) Ltd one of the best farms in there country Zimbabwe. Before his father death, he had deposited with one of the security companies in South Africa the sum of $23.5 Million Dollars. After the death of his father he and his mother move to South Africa where his late dad had deposited the money with Security Company as valuables. Before his mother asked hem to move to Dubai in search of a reputable person to assist hem. And they decided to contact an oversea firm or company that can assist hem move this money out of South Africa, because there family is afraid of operating any bank account for now. He have agreed to offer 20% of total sum for your assistance, 5% has been mapped out for any expenses that may be incurred in the course of this transaction and 75% will be for hem and his family to invest in your country. From the above you will underst and that the lives and future of his family depends on this money. As such he will be very happy if you can assist hem, now all I, Dr Bob William want from you is to furnish me with your personal telephone and fax numbers for easy communication. Note that this transaction is 100% risk free and absolutely confidential.Thanks and God bless.Best regardsDr. Bob William
I promise not to change once I'm stinking rich. Well, I might wear a real tiara...every day...and I will get a chauffeur and a Cabana Boy. Guess I'll be getting a cabana then, too. Oh, and I'll be out of the country a lot visiting fantastic places that I will then brag about seeing. More jewelry, definitely getting that. Have to get a convertible, too.
OK, I may change a lot but at the least, I'll send you all post cards from my travels. (Actually, I'll get an assistant to do it but it's the thought that counts, right?)