An Arizona Cheesehead's Thoughts

Shorty is always on me with the guilt trips to come see them and I usually give in eventually. He called me last night to invite me over for dinner tonight and I said yes. He got off easy that time as I didn't even give him the "I just saw you a week ago, isn't that enough?" speech. We had a nice dinner and Spartacus took a lovely nap on my lap when I decided to hit the road about 8. As I was walking out the door, I said, "Don't expect to see me any time soon." I'm a smart alec that way. I got into my car and, frack me, it wouldn't start! Clearly, I brought this upon myself. I should be more accurate. It started, I put it in reverse, it clunked then it died. I restarted it and tried to rev the engine and it died. I tried one last time and it dimmed the lights while it was dying. I managed to coast it into the other side of the driveway and freed up my Mom's van. After digging through all of my paperwork (twice because I missed it the first ti...

I finally got my Christmas presents from Sugar Daddy. Only a month late but worth waiting for. The first one was one he forgot that he had even ordered. (I find if funny that he's on NASCAR.com's mailing list only because of buying me gifts.) It's a Jimmie Johnson Team 48 blanket that will be perfect for snuggling under while watching TV. Grandpa will so not approve of how it goes with my decor since he was clearly disgusted at seeing the JJ action figure on one of the living room shelves the last time he was over. The big gift was something I suspected and hoped he would buy me. It's a Canon 8 color printer that is supposed to be awesome for photos. I can't wait to use it but I have to make room for it in my second bedroom/office. That means more unpacking. Ugh. Should be good incentive to get 'er done though.

I had the kookiest dream last night. My friend Andrea (she's a work buddy) and I were standing in line to see President George W. Bush at an event. We were in line with a bunch of Parrot Heads and they were making us practice doing Fins Up (hands together over the top of the head) like we didn't already know that. Apparently, W was going to perform and needed us to add some audience choreography. W did make an appearance and it was literally a song and dance show. He came out singing and doing a soft shoe with some backup dancers. There were several songs with costume changes and at some point, Andrea was talking to him but she was babbling nonsense as she had a really high fever. W looked confused (as I suspect he does 24-7) and I had to explain to him that she wasn't feeling well and I didn't understand her either. I have no idea what it all means but I can't get the picture of W doing the Sharks/Jets dance from West Side Story out of my head. So I got that going ...

We had a departmental birthday party today and I was in charge. We used to just do cake and ice cream and sit around and BS but last year someone planned a pool tournament outing for a birthday party and we've felt obligated to add games to every event since. Last time I planned one of the birthday celebrations, we had two paper airplane contests. There was a prize for most accurate flyer and for longest distance. This time, I planned a Roshambo Tournament. You may be asking, what is Roshambo? Well, it's more commonly known as Rock, Scissors, Paper or Paper, Rock, Scissors or Rock, Paper, Scissors. Everyone seems to have a different order in the names and plays it somewhat differently. Some go 1, 2 3 and on the 3 show their choice. Others go 1, 2, 3 then show their choice on what would be 4. The winner of the event had a suspicious style. She kind of made her move on 3 1/2. No one cried foul on her, however, so she got to take home this suitable for framing certificate (which I...

George did not make it through the night. Either that, or it was a case of playing dead gone tragically wrong. Poor guy. At least he didn't seem to be sick for very long. I've got to rethink this pet thing. If I can't even keep a fish alive for 1/3 of its life span, I probably shouldn't be getting a dog or cat or turtle...

When I went to feed George tonight, he didn't swim up to the top of the tank for his worms like he usually does. As a matter of fact, he was down at the bottom of the tank with his head facing the rocks and just sort of lying there. I tapped the side of the tank which startled him and he swam around a little. But, it was more like floundering on his side than swimming. I called Sugar Daddy and told him, "I think George is dying." He asked if he went after his food at all and, when I told him no, said "That's not good." We both know what a big piggy eater George is. SD then suggested maybe he just has a cold or is moping (which he is prone to do). I hope so. I looked up Betta's life spans and it's 3 to 5 years. I've only had George since July. I freshened up his water and dropped some more food in for him. Hopefully, he perks up by morning.

I was in a meeting this morning to discuss a new venture we have here at work. There was lots of blah, blah, blahing about what it will take to set it all up. One of the issues is opening a new merchant account with our credit card provider. One guy in the room isn’t getting along with our credit card people at the moment so he suggested I call them to set it up. “You call, Kathy, they like you.” To which I replied: “Everyone likes me…until they date me.” It busted up the whole room then we went on with our meeting. There were questions that we couldn’t answer without the input from this distribution company we’re going to use so the meeting facilitator called them up and put the phone on speaker. “The VP is out to lunch but the President of the company is going to join us as soon as he gets off the phone. His name is Chris (last name not listed here to protect the innocent).” Dang my honesty, quick tongue and slow brain! I said: “I know him. Actually I used to date him.” The ro...

Rationally, I get that playing the Lottery is a losing proposition. The odds are better that I'll get hit my lightening or find a 25 year old who wants to date me...pretty much, they're astronomical. However, it's worth the $1 to me to have the chance to fantasize about having to answer some questions. How much would it take for me to quit my job? How much would it take to never work again? Where would I go on my first trip? If I won $100,000, what would I do with it? It's just escapist fantasy stuff for me. Sugar Daddy and I buy tickets whenever the Powerball gets to be really big or we're having a bad week at work. We have an agreement to split any big prizes. I think that if I'm meant to win, I will do so on a $1 Pick and $1 Powerball selection each time. Sugar Daddy, since he has 5 times as much money as I, always buys five of each and is convinced he's getting screwed on the sharing thing since his investment is greater. I've told him that if we win...

I think I have to give up one of my Tasty Morsel dreams due to my own honesty. I was talking at work today about Steven setting up my DVD and VCR this weekend when one of them asked, "How old is your son?" There's just no point in lying since Sugar Daddy glories in telling people Steven's age so everyone knows and, since Steven is a freakishly tall 6'4", it's hard to pretend he's still 12 or so when people see him. I replied, "22." The Morsel did give me the requisite shocked look then said something to the effect that he thought I was going to say 7. I tried the line, " I was only 7, it's in the Guinness Book of Records." He wasn't buying. I'm guessing (not that I really thought there was a chance) that the Morsel's not going to want to go out with someone who's got a kid only 3 years younger than he is. I guess I need to raise my age bracket...all right, it's officially 26 to 30 from now on. Or, until Ste...

Well, I did it to myself again. A weekend went by with no rest for the (wannabe) wicked and (literally) weary. Friday, I went with the boys after work and split a pitcher of beer then went home to host my Euchre Tourney. Saturday, I went in to work for a few hours then worked from home before leaving for a house concert at 5:30, getting home after midnight. Sunday, I spent several hours planning our cruise stuff at the Babes' house before heading to Avondale (30ish mile drive) for dinner, getting home after 9 PM. Today, full day at work followed by shopping trips to Wally World and Home Depot then Book Club, getting home after 9 PM again. I don't know why I keep doing this to myself. In theory, a relaxing day on the weekend sounds great and, on every Monday, I think I'm going to be able to have one that coming weekend. By Friday, however, the calendar is chock full and I end up being at home just long enough to sleep, shower and feed George (if he's lucky).

About 20 of us AZ folks are going on the Atlanta Parrot Head's Annual Cruise in March. Some of us got together yesterday to plan our shore excursions. In typical Parrot Head fashion, the group discussion started off well structured but soon broke down into uncontrolled chaos (can there be controlled chaos?). Despite the side-conversations and multiple off topic stories, we managed to come to a consensus on several excursions. I didn't really need to be there because I told my roommates, The O'Malley Babes, to just pick the activities and I'll go along with them. I figure I spend 49 weeks a year telling people what to do and when and how to do it. I want to spend my three weeks of vacation going with the flow and not having to make any decisions beyond "Shall I have another beer?" Since the answer to that question is usually "Of course.", I can pretty much power down my brain and give it a much needed rest. (Am I geek or what? Power down...) Here...

I read in the paper today that they're releasing the first season of Hill Street Blues on DVD. The show premiered twenty five years ago! Man, way to make me feel old. I absolutely loved that show and never missed an episode. I just can't believe it was that long ago.

Last night my Parents, God-Parents, Aunt, The Goat, The Jello Shot Queen and her Dad, Ray (my favorite Valentine), came over for a Euchre Tournament. Most people hear the work Euchre and think of that Bob guy from the Miller Lite commercials of yore. It's actually a card game that's heavily playing in the Mid-West, especially Wisconsin and Ohio. Chances are if someone knows how to play, they're either from there or know someone who is and who taught them the game. Everyone was complimentary about the new place and either didn't notice the poorly painted vent covers or was too nice to say anything about them. I over bought on snacks and booze but booze doesn't spoil so that's no biggie. We played two tournament rounds and Ray came out as the big winner both times. It was not surprising as he's an excellent card player. Heck, I've seen him carry the Goat for an entire evening as his partner and still win. There was lots of heckling as the majority of us ar...

"This is really good. I'm going to have seconds" I guess we can declare the pork roast experiment a success. It tasted great and there was no tragic kitchen fire. I'm going to have to be careful about what I say about Grandpa's handyman jobs...he read that I had other tasks besides the shelves and he was a little leary. Next time, I'm just going to surprise him once he's trapped in the house. The other task was way easier than the shelves, though. I asked him to put back my duct/vent covers. They were this icky metal color and I spray painted them white. I really like white. Unfortunately, they need another coat to look really good. Since I have people coming over for a Euchre Tournament tonight, I had a dilemma. Leave them down and have open ducts showing or put them up knowing they were going to need to come down again. I chose to put them up. Hopefully, no one looks up towards the ceiling. The bathroom shelves, while a little troublesome getting up, loo...

I've been trying to figure out my recent domestic urges in the kitchen arena and I've think I've found two reasons for them. 1. Since I don't have the Sugar Daddy influence on the drive home to pick up restaurant food, I've been eating a lot of Healthy Choice TV dinners and am now craving "real" food. 2. In trying to shift the budget from free-wheeling renter to overly-committed homeowner, the sales at the grocery store on unprepared food are very appealing. Of course, while I am now trying for the home cooking thing, I'm not saving any money yet since I decided to take Cheap Bastard's cooking tip to heart and plopped down $40 on a crock pot from Tarjay tonight. I can't find the Nesco that I used to have...it's probably tucked away in some forgotten cupboard at Sugar Daddy's. I also bought a meat thermometer so my new found desire for my own cooking doesn't lead to salmonella poisoning. I thought that was a prudent purchase at ...

I just got done watching the second part of the season opener of 24 after watching the first part last night. Oh. My. God. That was some fantastic TV. They really weren't kidding when they said the first 10 minutes were a must see. Then they had to ruin it by putting another stupid teenager who gets into mortal peril in the story. Can they get another story line, please? I am so over that one. I will, however, watch all 24 hours. It's still a good show and that Keifer, while looking a bit weathered, is still a hottie.

Our Parrot Head Club partnered with the 1st Baptist Church to man a water station at the PF Chang's Rock N Roll Marathon on Sunday. I know what you're thinking, Parrot Heads and Baptists? How could that possibly work? Surprisingly enough, really well. Our station was just past mile 20 on the route and very near the Baptists' church so they put us together last year and the Baptists even asked to be with us again. Some of them wore Hawaiian shirts this year...perhaps Parrotheadism is a virus of sorts that you can't help catch eventually. (Sugar Daddy must have a natural immunity since he still dislikes all music that's Buffett-like.) The race people said the streets were going to be closed off at 7 so we all tried to get there between 6:30 and 6:45. What they didn't tell us was that they were going to have restricted traffic on every road to the race...I think the vast majority of us committed traffic violations to get where we needed to be. If the sign says No L...

Saturday night was my evening to fleece the sheep. It was even more painful than I imagined it would be. Picture nine women trying to play Texas Hold 'Em while holding constant, multiple conversations. Oh, the decibel level was really high! Now imagine that two of the women actually were there to seriously play the game. Yeah, I was one of the two and, Renee, the other has decided she probably can't take it anymore. Oh, and also picture the other seven using cheat sheets...on almost every hand. I tried to tell myself it was just $5 and that it was not about the cards, it was about hanging with some friends. Unfortunately, I am usually all about the cards. Man, they were something. Not serious card players, but something. The chatting just never stopped but fortunately there was wine to mellow me out. They had decided that everyone was supposed to come with a "persona". The hostess was in her jammies, Jen came as a sort of Jackie O., Andrea came as a librarian (which i...

Crime Dog's already gabbed about Friday's Happy Hour here . However, he left some of the story out for me to tell...nice of him. First, I have to admit at my own bad timing. Two months after I move away from BFE, we schedule a Happy Hour a couple of miles from my old house. The drive over during rush hour once again reinforced my deep feelings of adoration for my new commute. Teakwoods, the one at Williams Field and Gilbert, had a set of tables put together for us on their patio. It was a great night for sitting outside. We had somewhere between 20 and 25 people show up. I was quite excited that a couple who've been members for two years showed - it was their first club event and they came because it was near their house. Hopefully, they liked us enough to keep coming out. I'll digress a bit from the story (as I often do) to say how great it is when you have a good server at a restaurant and bar. It's not often you do. There can be the reluctance to split checks, th...

I try to learn something new every day.  Gotta do something to replace those brain cells that Miller Lite is killing...   Here's the home math lesson I got in the early AM:   bathroom light + exhaust fan + blow dryer + iron > cricuit breaker

I went over to the parents' for dinner tonight. Spartacus was being quite friendly and even took a little purring nap in my arms. I broke open one of her Christmas presents, a set of catnip meeses, and teased her with one of them. There's just something vastly entertaining about watching a cat get high. She alternated just breathing deeply over the mouse with licking the outside and chewing on the tail. Then, she pretty much just rolled around on it until she was covered in catnip odor and stumbling a bit. She then exhibited some paranoia until she finally passed out on my Mom's lap. I said she was going to be looking for some cold pizza in a few hours.

Stacey loaned me a big trade paperback which is actually three books in one: Daughter of the Blood, Heir to the Shadows and Queen of the Darkness . The author is Anne Bishop and they are of the fantasy variety. The premise of the society is that there are folks with magic and their power is signified by a jewel. Lighter jewels indicate lesser power and black is the darkest. Also, the Queens have the highest ranking and the men, regardless of their power, serve their Queens. Sounds like a good plan to me... However, there's an ongoing power struggle where the older Queens don't want to give up their power and kill off the younger Queens and they also torture and use men as sex slaves. Not so nice. Into this society, a young girl shows up who exhibits power a hundredfold greater than any one else. The struggle is for the good guys to keep her alive until she can become a Queen and for the bad guys to try to kill or control her. These were good but I probably would have enjoyed t...

About two dozen of us are going on a cruise in March that's been set up by the Atlanta PHC. There will be over 400 Parrot Heads from all over on the ship (good thing it's Carnival and they're used to crazy/drunk/immature people). The planners set up a Yahoo Group for messages and asked everyone to post their bios. I've been scanning them all and, so far, no single guys under 30. Sigh . Here's what I posted: Nicknames: Mrs. Robinson Age (optional): I've blocked it out...actually, I think there was aclerical error on my birth certificate by at least 10 years. Parrothead Club (if any): Arizona Parrot Head Club Where do you live: Tempe, AZ Where did you move there from? Chandler, AZ Where were you Born? Milwaukee, WI. I have a natural affinity for Miller products. What do you do for a living? Database Administrator What you like to be doing for a living? Published author. Single, married, or involved: Single Roommates on the cruise: The O'Malley Babes Any ot...

The Valley's drought will be officially over in the next few days. Yes, I washed my car today.

My pal Norene is up from Tucson for a Grants, Contracts, blah, blah, blah for Government Grunts class this week and is staying around Washington and 40th Streets. We planned to meet for dinner and, since she's a low carb girl, I suggested The Stockyards on Washington and 50th. Years ago, Shorty worked in an office attached to the restaurant, and if memory serves me, the stockyards may have still been in operation. I do remember it smelling like cow poop there. It was an authentic steakhouse, however, and the place you took unsuspecting out-of-towners to and served them Rocky Mountain Oysters. The place had gotten a little shabby so two former busboys (like from 30 years ago) bought it and renovated it. It's really nice now, just what you'd expect in a steakhouse. Norene ordered 1/2 slab of ribs but for me there is no other option in a steak place than the filet mignon. The waitress asked how I wanted it cooked and I gave my stock answer, "As rare as they'll cook...

Safeway had whole chickens on sale for $.29 a pound so I decided, what the heck, I'll buy one. I figured I could bake it and make one meal out of part of it then shred the rest to use later for quesadillas or BBQ. Due to my own incompetence, I got stuck really late at work last night but it was the only night I was going to be home this week so I had to bake him up. I cleaned out his guts, dropped in some garlic and seasonings and spread him out on the tray. Problem: I have no idea what temperature to use or how long to bake it. The kitchen is not the room in the house where I do my best work, clearly. After going through a couple of cookbooks, I could tell you how to cook Chicken Kiev, Chicken Kabobs...but still no idea on a plain, baked chicken. I made an executive decision to set the oven to 375 and the timer for 50 minutes and headed to the living room to watch an episode of Angel. Show over, I pulled the chicken out of the oven but he didn't look done. I cut into a juicy t...

This poker thing may be getting out of hand. I've watched most of the 2005 World Series episodes twice already. But tonight, I've been watching reruns of the 2004 Series. Reruns of reruns I've already seen a few times. That's bordering on sick. Helloooooo, Kathy, Greg Raymer wins. Stop watching and go to bed.

We had our first 2006 AZPHC BOD meeting today. It went pretty much as I expected. Took about 4 hours, was partially chaotic (I'm so glad Crime Dog has to prepare those notes!) and everyone was enthusiastic about the coming year. I think we're going to have a great year. After the meeting, Bob told me I need to delegate more. I know, I know. I'm such a control freak who's been conditioned to just do the work that needs to be done. I'm going to work on letting go, though, as there are plenty of capable people to make sure that things get done. It really is going to be a great year.

Cuz I know you're dying to hear how it's going... I spent my afternoon yesterday scraping paint splatters off the tile. The boys were very careful when they painted to not get anything on the carpet. They were much less careful about the tile. I had spots throughout the dining room, hallway and bathroom. I presoaked them in Goo Gone so most of them came up pretty easily. The Goo Gone made the floor really slippery so I had visions of me being that old lady, I've fallen and I can't get up . Made it through mopping without incident and it looks a lot better. Of course, I've since seen three spots I missed. Grandpa came over last night and hung the set of candle wall sconces I got from Jeanne and John for Christmas. He also recessed the electrical outlet for the stove so it can sit back against the wall and I could regain use of the drawer that it had been blocking. G did seem a tad disappointed that I hadn't followed up on his decorating tips. I haven't gotten...

I stumbled into the kitchen around 7 AM yesterday and reached into the fridge for my caffeine drink of choice, Diet Pepsi. I popped it open as I headed back to my room to read the paper, taking a sip as I did so. Not so much Diet Pepsi in the can but Miller Lite. Now the dilemma. If it had been a work day, the beer would have been down the sink without question. But, it was Saturday, and it's not like I haven't had beer at 7 AM ever before in my life and it is a sin to waste alcohol. I thought about it for a few seconds then dumped it anyway. Somehow a beer that early when you're not on vacation smacks of desperate alcoholic. Unfortunately, this isn't the first time I've confused the blue can of Miller Lite with the blue can of Diet Pepsi. Which is why there's one thing wrong with Miller Lite. They need to put a warning or stamp on the top of the can to protect me from wasting beer.

I woke up this morning when the neighbor cat decided to run across my roof. I assumed it was the cat because the steps were quick pitter-patter like. But, then I heard my wind chime ding and the motion detector light on my patio turned on. Then off. Then back on. With visions of axe murderers trying to break in, I peaked out of my bedroom window. It looked like the wind was blowing my patio umbrella, which was enough to make the light turn on. Or, was it? Completely wide awake at this point, I knew I had to investigate further. I don’t have a full view of the patio from my bedroom so I went out to the living room to peer through the blinds. Of course, you have to very carefully peek because you don’t want to let the axe murderer see you. After checking from several vantage points, I determined that it was indeed the wind and the umbrella. This was all at 4:30 AM so getting back to a sound sleep before the 5:30 alarm was out of the question. I so should not live alone.

We had a blood drive at work today. I dutifully showed up and went through the interview process. When it was done, the guy tried to print the report but nothing happened. He kept staring perplexed at his laptop, seemingly hitting keys aimlessly and muttering. "I've done this for six years and I've never had this happen before." Apparently, it lost my whole interview so we had to do it again. I told the guy that computers were evil and that is was my fault. I was hoping he'd just type in the all the appropriate responses since we'd just gone through it but, nope, he read them all out loud again and made me answer them one more time. A digression of sorts...when asked the question "Have you ever had sex with a man who's had sex with another man since 1977?", how many "single" woman about town can answer it honestly? Like do you get down to the make or break point and stop to say, "I'm sorry but before we go further, have you eve...

I got my property title paperwork in the mail. It says the seller's name and describes him as a "single male". It then has my name and describes me as an "unmarried woman". Unmarried? Sugar Daddy summed up how I feel when he said calling the guy "single" made him seem like a happening, fun man about town and calling me "unmarried" made me sound like an old spinster. Actually, he literally called me an old spinster but one without cats. I'm sure there's some legal reason, perhaps because the guy is divorced. I'm also sure that I'm overly sensitive. But come on, why can't I be the happening, woman about town "single"?

I just watched the FedEx commercial with the lobster fisherman. The guy who ends up with the lobsters hanging off of him looks a lot like our friend Blenderman (think naughty Santa). If he'd had a blender full of Pink Titties in one hand, he'd be nearly a dead ringer!

I'm still unpacking. I know, you're surprised. Oh, not surprised that I have unpacking to do. Surprised that I'm actually doing it. I gave myself a real deadline this time. I have seven people coming over for a Euchre tournament on the 20th so I need all my ducks in a row by then. That also means Grandpa and Sugar Daddy both need to come over and finish some stuff up before then. Grandpa will be easy to get. Sugar Daddy, not so much. Gotta tell you, my IKEA furniture is awesome! The shelves are really deep so I can do two layers of movies and DVDs and my CDs just fit on three shelves on the TV table. Of course, it's killing my OCD that I just threw the CDs in there. I'm pretty sure I'll have to organize them soon (by category then alphabetically by artist). It is really a sickness.

I can’t decide if this is going to be entertaining or aggravating. I got an evite from one of my book club buds for a Girls Poker Night. They only do a $5 buy in so I’m not expecting high caliber play here, which is probably a good thing. Since it only said “Poker” and not a specific game, I asked Andrea what game they play. This is pretty much how our conversation went… K: So, what game do you play? Is it dealer’s choice? A: We only play one game. Um, five card…stud?…draw? K: Do you limit the betting increments? A: blank stare K: Do the bets go nickel, dime, quarter? A: We give Ellen $5 and she just gives us chips. K: ( puzzled look ) So there’s no limit on betting? At any time you can just go all in? A: Exactly. K: Okaaaaaay. Are you sure you’re playing five card? A: Yes, there are five cards on the table. K: Are you sure it isn’t like this? You get two cards, bet, then turn up three cards, bet, then turn up one card, bet, then turn up the final card and bet? A: Ye...

Damn the American viewing audience! Why couldn't they have recognized that Arrested Development is the smartest show on TV? Last night's episode was classic as they had a "Save the Bluths" episode with guest stars, fake 3-D and references to going to cable. It is all for naught, I suspect. People just don't seem to want to have to actually pay attention to a show to get the jokes. My loss. I'm going to miss this show.

My PDA went on the fritz. All it would do is display the Palm logo and it wouldn't turn off. I was looking at it Friday and wanted to take it apart to see if the button was stuck but it requires a weird, tiny hex screwdriver to open it which I didn't have. So, I took the batteries out and left it for today. This afternoon, I took it into Sugar Daddy's office to ask him if he had the right screwdriver. He's a true geek who works on his own machines so I thought it was likely. He made me describe the problem, told me I was just doing something wrong and made me go get the batteries. He put the batteries in and damn if that thing didn't start working right. I was swearing up and down it hadn't been and he was like "Yeah, whatever, you're just a dumb girl who can't use electronics." Finally, he 'fessed up. While I was out of the office, he banged the PDA on his desk. Apparently, it loosened up whatever was stuck. I could have done that...damn t...

I really didn't know who to root for in the Fiesta Bowl, the Buckeyes or the Irish. Being a partially Irish, (formerly good) Catholic girl from the Mid-West, I'm pre-wired to be pro-Notre Dame. But, I have some really great friends who are from Ohio (including a favorite Valentine whom I'll be seeing soon) and I wanted to see their team win. I ended up cheering for whomever was on offense.

I think I've read all of Sophie Kinsella's books. She does the Shopaholic series and other chick-lit books. I find myself frustrated with her heroines as they continually make bad choices that put them in difficult, albeit comedic, situations. Apparently, they've never tried the "I'll just be honest and not try to build lie upon lie" approach to life. Doubtful if their "Just keep lying and think on your feet" strategy works in real life, but in fiction it can be quite entertaining. Her latest book is about a young London lawyer who makes partner the same day it's discovered she made a mistake that will cost a client 50 million pounds. In shock, she flees to the countryside and is mistaken for a housekeeper candidate. Of course, despite knowing absolutely nothing about cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc., she decides to take the job. Kinsella does a great job of creating characters with depth and that you actually care about. Once I got past the st...

I admit the subtitle of this book was what attracted me to it: An Undercover Report from the Front Lines of Modern-Day Romance. It sounds like something I could have penned, if I weren't huddled back behind the front for emotional safety. The author, Stacy Kravetz, interviewed lots of dating folks and tried lots of ways to increase the chance of finding a parter. Among the things she looked into were professional matchmaking, match.com, speed dating, chat rooms, flirting workshops, dating coaches and "lock and key" mixers. The results were all quite depressing actually, especially if you're single and looking for a partner. There were no great success stories and her premise seems to be that our overly busy lives are keeping us from finding lasting relationships and that, while some modern techniques may work out, we're so into an ADD like culture that we miss out on potential mates unless there's an immediate connection. And, it's a mythical immediate co...

I was at the AZPHC New Year's Eve bash at the Ferrallis' on Saturday night, not on Mill Ave, so I had nothing to do with this .

Shorty called me yesterday around 1 to see if Norene was up from Tucson yet. I told him she wasn't going to be here until 7 then I threw him a zinger. Got your tree down yet? While Pfisters live to have their trees up early, they are also freaks about taking them down ASAP after Christmas. His reply: No, don't even bring it up. Of course, I couldn't let it go so I followed with: Mine's down. It's a lot easier to take down when you don't have any ornaments on it. He did laugh at that. His tree still isn't down today. What a slacker.

I just sent my first email as President of the Arizona Parrot Head Club. Yep, it's official as of today that I am the new leader of our group. I predict an increase in tasty morsels joining the club...at least, I sincerely hope so! Funny, I don't really feel very "Presidential". I'm not even sure what it means. I think it's supposed to be someone a little (lot) more dignified than I. However, I do share Jimmy Carter's "Let's all get along" attitude. I have the Gerald Ford habit of falling down a lot (There were no grass stains!). I wouldn't necessarily turn down a hot to trot intern (male, please) so I guess I'm a tad Clintonesque. W....nope, nothing in common there...wait....nope, really nothing at all. Here are some things I'm not going to do to appear more Presidential. I'm not going to require Hail to the Chief be played every time I show up. I won't start calling my car Air Force One . I won't send in club membe...