I Hate Mercedes

Sugar Daddy used to have a BMW convertible. I loved that car. We had a deal for when he went out of town. I'd give him a ride to the airport and I would get to drive the car while he was gone. I took that car to happy hours, to Tucson, to Prescott, out on dates. And, I looked good while I was driving it.

He sold it to buy a Mercedes E class that he got online. I hated that car. It looked like a 70 year old man should be driving it. And, it replaced my car. I never drove it.

The E class was a lemon and he replaced it with a Mercedes C55 that he's still driving today. I've never liked that car, either. It does have a lot of gizmos that are fun but it's totally impractical. Despite being a four-door sedan, the back seat can only comfortably fit midgets and every trip to the shop is at least $500.

I didn't hate this car, however, until this week.

I had picked out the perfect Christmas present for Sugar Daddy. I was going to get him signed up for Sirius. I'd seen it advertised for less than $150 and it would allow him to continue to listen to Howard Stern (blech). Since we don't carpool anymore, it meant I wouldn't have to listen to Howard. It was all good.

Here's the thing...the C55 is prewired for satellite. You'd think it would be a painless, simple process to get it installed. You'd be wrong. It actually costs around $1,000 to install Sirius into a Mercedes and you need to do it at the dealership. Now, I like Sugar Daddy and want to give him a great present but he's not worth $1,000. That's more than my cruise is going to cost, for God's sake!

So, the perfect Christmas present is ruined thanks to the overpriced lump of metal.

I hate Mercedes.

Popular posts from this blog

TV At Its Finest

I was talking to someone today who didn’t know who Bob Newhart was. I cut him some slack because he’s a youngster and didn’t grow up in the U.S. I told him about The Bob Newhart show and how it became a college drinking game and about Newhart, "Hi, I'm Larry; this is my brother Darryl, and this is my other brother Darryl." He was going to go to Wikipedia and do some research. The conversation got me thinking. Back in the day (like when dinosaurs were alive and I was young and there were only four channels on TV), we caught a lot of reruns of what are now considered classic TV. Especially, if you were a latchkey kid like I was, there wasn’t a lot going on in the afternoon/early evening so it was either soap operas or reruns unless you were allowed to be outside and play. And, of course, during summer vacation you had even more time to watch the boob tube. Here’s what I remember watching during those years: Gilligan’s Island, Big Valley (I’m still looking for my very own N
Read more

This Is How Fat Thinks

I was in Vegas over the weekend and Thursday night found me sitting at the bar in Margaritaville with some friends. We were having some drinks, talking to strangers and watching both the baseball and football games. All was well with the world. Out of nowhere, a young (20s?) guy came up behind me and snapped a selfie with me in it. He moved away before I could even get out "What was that about?" Less than 30 seconds later, another young guy came up and did the same. He also bounded away before I could stop him. My very first thought was that they were doing a photo scavenger hunt and one of the items was a picture with the fattest woman they found. Hell, could even have been the fattest person they saw if I let my mind take it further. Now, assuming a scavenger hunt, there are other reasons they could have wanted a picture of me. Maybe they needed a ginger, maybe it was someone with their hair in braids, maybe it was someone in the brightest colored shirt they could fin
Read more